View Full Version : medical experiment or something similar done on me (?)

10-19-2010, 04:35 AM
Hello you.

I am new here and firstly i want to write my personal story.

I was born as a healthy and " normal" baby, to both physicallly and mentally healthy parents.

When I was a child it was always said that I was quite intelligent (I have learnt reading at an early age) but I had many troubles with motoric and concentration , I needed very long to learn to bind my shoes for example and had problems with every day tasks.
I always lived in my own world with strange interests and the perception of my environment has always been a kind of derealisation, like being on another planet,country or age...
There was no psychological trauma ever happening to me, I remember.


In summers I always noticed that there was bleeding skin under my fingernails from sun and also sometimes with doing tasks.
This came to the point that my fingers, especially on the right hand got a little bit disfigured by time.
I often wondered about, it was also hurting but never paid so much attention to it.


I always knew that there was something wrong with me mentally but couldn`t ever explain it to me, also my parents couldn`t explain why.

Since I have been 12 and I have got my menstruation it tended to be irregular with no known causes.
Also stopped growing at the age of 13,14 after a normal growth in childhood and today I am small and rather slim (low normalweight).


During my teenage years symptoms like mood swings,unrealistic ideas,disorganiced behaviour,a few special interests, periodic social withdrawal, periods with disturbing short-during and obscure delusions with insight inbetween,depressive and euphoric moods,anxieties inbetween and a no-future-thinking/kind of lazyness even when not depressed, manifested and progressed slowly to the other mental things which I had since childhood.
Also migaine attacks started every few weeks when i was in puberty.

In that time I had a negative mental development in school, working life etc...with no known causes.

This symptoms I have until today and it is a strange feeling between "you are crazy" and "having insight in normal reality but there is something which affects my head and thinking."


Some years ago physical symptoms started very rapidly.
They are cardiac arryhtmias,rapid heart beat, bad nausea with sometimes urge but no possibility of vomiting, feeling of weakness and the urge to eat a lot ,which often improves the symptoms.

This periods are from time to time and sometimes they are real bad fits, where I lie in bed the whole day and eat and eat to don`t collaps.
I often even thought of going to hospital but i know they wouldn`t find out something. (but this luckily happens more seldom in that extreme ways).
When these symptoms are milder and chronic it feels a bit like hypoglycemia and panic attacks inbetween and I cannot do many of the things other young people my age usually do, for example hard work,travelling far etc...

There were many blood tests ran ,also expecially for blood sugar and all thyroid issues where nothing has been found (I also saw the papers)


Some years ago I have also got a kind of mild sun allergy.
In spring and early summers I have an urticarial-like rash which feels like sunburn with itching (but not on the whole body) and disappears after some hours or a day.
My skin pigmentation has also got irregular with time, also before allergy started.
Then since two years I also get sporadic burning wounds sometimes when out in the sun, most of them are on dorsal feet and some on arms.
Luckily they are not too many but they leave scars for some time.
In face always get a bit acne in summers, and I also developed general skin sensitivy to rubbing but this is only some itching.

I did a blood test for antinuclear antibodies which was negative, but I haven`t seen a dermatologist for my problem until yet.


Doctors always tell me that my cardiac, nausea and hypoglycemic feelings are imagination and psychosomatics but this cannot be when it improves with eating a lot and drinking water.

So i don`t trust most doctors any more.

My parents or siblings don`t have these symptoms and I had a hernia surgery at the age of 6.
Also had some vaccinations as a child (but also my brother had them)..

So I suspect that they have done a test on me on a medical treatment,which nobody else should know because I have done a lot of research and my symptoms don`t fit in any known disease.
This would maybe also explain the reaction of doctors and I have read something about such topics in internet....

So please tell me if you have similar experiences and what I should consider or do to find out.

Thanks for reading and responses. ;)

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