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01-12-2007, 07:24 AM
I personally do not like the word. I am a HUMAN BEING. I am not a lab rat. I am not an animal. I did not like being poked and proded. I did not like being hooked up to machines. I did not like being treated like a DOG.

I was experimented with by NAZI doctors all funded by the CIA.

No. Not just me. Many of us.

In Peace,
BlueAngel

01-12-2007, 08:22 AM
I wasn't born this way, I told him. My father.

Why would you let these doctors experiment with me? I am your daughter. How can you do this to your own daughter? I am your flesh. I am your blood.

How can you be like this?

Do I look better when I come back? Does it seem like they're helping me?

I tell you what they do to me and you act as if they're looking for a cure for some "dreaded disease" you say runs in our family.

Some dreaded disease I wasn't born with. Some dreaded disease you make up so I look like the crazy one and you do not.

You make me sick on purpose. They make me sick on purpose.

They ask me what I feel when they do this. What I feel when they do that.

I will not cooperate. Drink from this cup. Drink from that cup. Take your medicine. The medicine makes me feel worse, but you tell me I have to take it.

Why?

Don't you trust that I know my own body? Don't you think I know how I feel?

Why do you think you know what I feel inside? You're not inside of me.

If I didn't keep my mouth shut, I was going to get all of us KILLED, is what he said.

You've got to learn to keep a secret. You've got to learn to keep your mouth zipped. You've got to learn to button your lip and throw away the key.

Some secrets, government secrets, cannot be talked about.

Why?

Government secrets that they use me and others like we are guniea pigs.

That they put us in cages. That they put dog collars around our necks. That they treat us like slaves. That they make us particpate in grotesque sexual acts?

These secrets? These are government secrets that you want me to be quiet about?

Our family? What the hell is wrong with our family?

In Peace,
BlueAngel

01-12-2007, 10:19 AM
I remember lots of injections. They were looking for a truth serum.

But, in addition to this, I remember being injected with something that made me feel paralyzed, numb.

I was conscious. I could speak. My eyes were open.

I was restrained alot in a straitjacket. This, because I would kick, scream and fight.

I was bound and gagged.

I made it harder than it had to be, they said.

I could not fight the "evil forces" of nature.

In Peace,
BlueAngel

P. S. Sometimes, I experience symptoms when recalling such as the numbness in my face.

01-12-2007, 11:05 AM
I did not always stay with THEM. I was brought to different military installations.

Highly guarded ones at that. Dark, desolate, flashing lights. Lots of them.

I DO NOT LIKE FLASHING LIGHTS. I have experienced trauma with my husband in the car if we are on a dark highway, so to speak, in the middle of nowhere and there may be a bright flashing yellow light up ahead, jumping side to side.

I have at times, actually stopped the car, begun trembling and was almost paralyzed with fear. I could not drive the car any further.

I was afraid to go under the light.

Another time, I was in the passenger seat and I actually crouched down on the floor.

BRIGHT FLASHING LIGHTS in the middle of nowhere do not sit well with me.

The installations are HIGHLY GUARDED. No one come in or out unless they have clearance.

I was being EXPERIMENTED on! I cannot stress this enough.

Experimented on by what and by whom, you ask?

By BEINGS I referred to as creatures from another planet. By evil doctors. By Nazi doctors.

By BEINGS whom could not be human. They had no compassion, no empathy, no feelings!

They could not be described as HUMAN in any sense of the word.

In Peace,
BlueAngel

01-12-2007, 11:15 AM
I am screaming at people. THEY ARE NOT HUMAN. I don't know what they are. They don't look human. They don't act like they're human. I don't know how to describe them.

It is some kind of exchange program.

In Peace,
BlueAngel

01-12-2007, 11:52 AM
When I began recalling memories five years ago about my past abuse, there were certain symptoms that I suffered when remembering and/or speaking about them.

A feeling of coldness would come over me as if most of my blood had been drained out of my body.

Everything was about taking samples. A sample of this; a sample of that. Poking, proding, testing. Looking in every crack and crevice.

My teeth would chatter, my jaws would become clenched as occured when memories were being tortured OUT OF ME!

My neck would become extrememly painful and tired from the shocking and the targeting of pressure points in that area.

This is happening now. It has been a long time since these symptoms were present.

I was TOLD when this occured to get under the covers in my bed.

I no longer do this as this "tactic" makes it worse.

It draws me into a state of emotional distress were I may lay in bed for days and re-experience the torture again and where "false/implanted memories" can emerge.

In Peace,
BlueAngel

01-12-2007, 12:42 PM
I object to the word PROGRAM being used to suffix the words MIND CONTROL. It is inappropriate.

However, we have been CONDITIONED this way. To think of it as a program.

This is what it was called back in the day when I was in elementary school and identified as gifted/talented. A program for the HIGHLY INTELLIGENT!!

I believe my father gave informed consent.

That was what they threw in my face everytime I INFORMED them that I was going to INFORM my father, OTHERS, everyone what they were actually doing to us.

I was adamant to my father in expressing that the PROGRAM wasn't designed to help develop, hone, fine tune the skills of those whom they had identified as gifted/talented and or highly intelligent.

It would be better for us, they said, if we were all grouped together and taught in a separate facility. This may have been on school grounds, I'm not sure, because I've had memories of an underground facility there.

I persisted in telling him and, although I believe he was responsible for much of my abuse, as well as my mother, he may have, at some point, begun to slightly understand my position as to his actions and their actions.

I believe that I/WE were taken out of school and brought to the Opa-Locka AFB which was only several miles away.

I distinctly remember him saying that he never gave permission for them to take ME from the school grounds.

I believe our ELEMENTARY SCHOOL was ONE BIG EXPERIMENT.

I've already commented about my second grade teacher having left her teaching job after my 2nd grade year with her. It was said that she was in the military, was stationed in Germany and I've written about a memory of her visiting my home when I was older and dressed in her military uniform.

There may have been after school hours devoted to this as well.

In Peace,
BlueAngel

01-12-2007, 05:54 PM
I think I smell another RAT!

In Peace,
BlueAngel

Barbarien
01-12-2007, 09:53 PM
They have always been here and why should they not be here. A form of them will one day be welcomed publicly.

01-12-2007, 10:08 PM
Barbarien wrote:
They have always been here and why should they not be here. A form of them will one day be welcomed publicly.

Should I SPIT ON YOU now or later?

In Peace,
BlueAngel

01-12-2007, 10:17 PM
It was said that I was being sent back to the torture chamber.

I see a spinning machine and chairs that we are strapped into. They produce jolting vibrations, shaking to the point where you have no control over your body movements.

Other experiments with EMF's were conducted. Finding the correct frequency and sound waves.

I would be asked what was inaudible, what was audible. When they were talking to me and when I was intercepting messages that were being sent from remote locations.

In Peace,
BlueAngel

02-13-2007, 07:11 PM
Bump!

In Peace,
BlueAngel

cold
02-13-2007, 08:08 PM
You are an experiment and that is all. It is to convince the experimenter to end the experiment that I will turn you.

Lilith the Devil

02-13-2007, 08:12 PM
Your comment doesn't make sense.

In Peace,
BlueAngel

cold
02-13-2007, 09:16 PM
To you and that is understandable.

Lilith your Sister

02-13-2007, 09:44 PM
No, that would be to ALL.

In Peace,
BlueAngel

cold
02-14-2007, 08:15 PM
You do not speak for all, just for one worm, you.

Lilith your sister.

02-14-2007, 08:24 PM
cold wrote:
You do not speak for all, just for one worm, you.

Lilith your sister.

I know who I speak for.

In Peace,
BlueAngel

cold
02-15-2007, 06:05 PM
One worm, I know too.

L I L I T H

02-17-2007, 10:27 AM
Bump!

In Peace,
BlueAngel

cold
02-17-2007, 09:33 PM
The woe-man is a stark raving lunatic. With a little help she will get worse.

D E V I L

02-18-2007, 03:11 PM
WE know who the lunatic is. He's on the grass.

In Peace,
BlueAngel

cold
02-18-2007, 07:48 PM
WE know who the lunatic is. He's up my ass.

In Peace,
BlueAngel

02-18-2007, 08:16 PM
BlueAngel wrote:
with my killer graces
and secret places that i never wanted any boy to fill
i've waited oh so long to sing this song
so don't expect for me to be sittin' still

well, that pact I made that you found engraved
waitin' for you on your window sill
left by a blue angel speaking all she knew
do you still have it in clear view

it was all your lies
your bogus alibis
and you knew it would never pay you well
so you were forced to sell
and you paid the price
and now in Satan's house you dwell

i was sent away, taught how to behave
came out as someone who
was filled with lies and crucified
practically burned right at the stake
I was afraid to walk
I was afraid to talk
afraid to look at my face

cause the scars were deep
and the memories unleashed
a painful living hell

but I do not weep for what I lost
but for all that I have gained
for my soul is strong and my soul is wise
and I have a family that cries
for what I survived

There is one thing that I know for sure
I did what I did to escape
imprisonment my whole life through
and my fate it rests in the palm of God's hands
and I know he'll see me through

In Peace,
BlueAngel