View Full Version : The Official Thread of Boring Initiates through the Ages

10-11-2007, 11:39 AM
I'm going to start compiling a list of the dryest, most boring Initiates who have ever lived. Here's three that come to mind immediately.

A.E. Waite--the most boring person who has ever lived.

Helena Blavatsky--an almost torturously boring writer, and the second most boring person who has ever lived.

Rudolf Steiner--so bored and boring was he, that I am convinced that he invented all of his wisdom lectures impromptu simply to amuse himself with the level of bollocks he could attain.

10-11-2007, 11:51 AM
Adolf Hitler -- An initiate and practicioner of what is known in esoteric circles as Boring.

A bored and boring writer was he. Yes, you have read Mein Kampf. But don't try to convince me you enjoyed it. You trudged through hundreds upon hundreds of pages of bordom, and you tried to convince yourself that you were excited because your older brother 'Dietritche' was a neo-nazi and told you it was engaging reading.


10-11-2007, 11:55 AM
George Hegel--I understand your pain. You thought a book with such a grand title as Phenomenology of Spirit would be a great read, right? Well, weren't you wrong! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

George Hegel; so boring that his eyes glazed over was reported to have stated upon his death bed,"I have destroyed an Universe, and Boring remains."


10-11-2007, 12:03 PM
Jacob Boehme--"Hi, I'm Jacob Boehme. You've probably read my all time classic 'The Aurora, or the Reddness of the Morning.' I know what the Initiates told you, they told you it is 'mystical', right? Truth of the matter is I wrote while throwing a threeweek drunk in the wine cellar of my favorite Cathedral. I have absolutely no idea what I was talking about! But it seemed to make sense at the time. Hey, look, what can I say? I was bored."


10-11-2007, 12:09 PM
Israel Regardie--"Greetings in the name of the Lord of Indignation. I never wanted any of this. I always thought I was going to be a dentist in Ohio. But NO! I got suckered into this stupid sham of a quasi-cult thingy called the Golden Dawn. They wasted all my time and money and filled my head full of more crap than a truck load of horse manure. So what could I do? I had to do something, you know! Don't sit there and judge me! Stop doing that!

I did the only think I knew to do: I ripped off all the stupid wisdom lectures from the Golden Dawn, pissed off Crowley, and made a whole lot of money by convincing people that I was an insider into the occult revival of the 20th century, or something. Anyway, I don't give two rat turds about any of it, I'm just glad I ended up with a beach house in Cali."


10-11-2007, 03:03 PM
Omraam Mikhael Aivanhov--"Like most orthodox priests here in Bulgaria, I'm a complete fraud. But, please allow me to introduce myself with a little bio: "Salut, numele meu este Master Omraam. eu sunt de la Bulgaria. dar dvs probabil deja ghicită acea deoarece de această pălăria îmblănită care eu sun. În esență, eu sunt un profet fals. eu am învățat totul eu deosebesc de un țigani comuni. Sec se se pare să mă adore, dacă nu numai medii care el este prost. oricum, mulțumirile pentru citind mele plicticoase și scrierile false."

Well anyway, that all seems very nice. I've always tried to style myself after Santa Claus, and after years of practice, well, I think I've done pretty well for myself.


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