View Full Version : The Book New Testament from Illuminated World

11-05-2008, 09:44 AM

Obama is president. Postmodernism is dead. Welcome to the Age of Convergence. Or something like that.

So, as you probably already know, I was a near eastern linguistics major in university and am currently working on my own independant translation into English. Always felt the need for the a truly radical paradigm shift in translation from the King James carcase. However, as they have many more resources, and willing aids in their work, it appears that the Illuminati has beat me to it.

I'm flipping through a magazine in the 'Christian' section of Barnes and Noble and discover that I'm reading the New Testament Writings. On the cover is a rather gothed out looking girl giving me a green eyed stare that would make Ma'a the Kitty Cat of Egypt blush with envy.

Inside I can view photos of Angelina Jolie, Ghandi, chics in swimsuits, and a veritable managery of curiosities all along with a New Testament translation that reads with all the zeal of a corporate powerpoint presentation.

Lovely work, Illuminati. Getting cozy with us are we? Very, very cozy. I think the Illuminati want to go to bed with us Christians now. They love us and want to get intimate with us. So come on then, come into our bed. We're inviting you. We will snuggle with our precious little Illuminati.

On the back cover is a picture of a dude that looks like Fonzie turned into a ring wrathe or something. Our Illuminati is letting us know that they are being spooky. They want us to know how excellent they are at occultism. They are both sneeky and cunning. Just look at them over there hiding in the shadows looking us and being well hidden from our Eyes.

Where are you O Illuminati? We cannot see you. Come out of this hiding and have some tea and cookies with us at potluck this next Sunday.

11-05-2008, 12:54 PM
The silence just screams out volumes in this thread..

mmm ba..

11-05-2008, 06:03 PM
Speaking of MAAT or MA'A, I simply wanted to add for historical purposes and purposes of lexography and the advancement of learned Egyptology that the Cat God of Egypt was pronounced 'Meow' by the priesthood of her cult.

The Priests of Meow offered Aromatic Littergy and something brought down through history known as the Meow Mix.

Transliterated and translated from the Egyptian of the 93rd Dianasty we have:

"Meow meow meow meow
Meow meow meow meow
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow"

It goes like this...

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/LTunhRVyREU&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/LTunhRVyREU&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

11-05-2008, 06:22 PM
Oh Bast it! I forgot MAAT was a stork! There goes my dislexia again!

here is the real cat god Bast. You will notice the similarities..


11-05-2008, 06:47 PM
However, if one thinks about it in the context of a literary convention of the Littergy of Maat, it seems likely that Bast was a sort of demigoddess who actually did service to the cult of Meow and thus invoking the mantra.

It is worth consideration and further research.

11-05-2008, 06:59 PM
This theory begins to take shape when we keep in mind that cats will often hunt birds and therefore we hypothesis by the araeological data that perhaps Bast was courting the favor of Maat in order to lure Maat into a trap.

The theory holds water among a consensus of good recent scholarship.