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kalima 08-10-2005 02:53 PM

seeking MKULTRA info
just joined this forum. Hello... Blue Angel, I ran across a post of yours where you spoke of knowing something about the MKULTRA project. i have reasons to believe that I was involved with it also. Would like to talk with you about it. Thanks...This looks like a good place...peace, Kalima

08-10-2005 04:22 PM

Re: seeking MKULTRA info
Do you think that you were INVOLVED or a VICTIM???

kalima 08-10-2005 05:59 PM

Re: seeking MKULTRA info
Whoa! I assumed you'd know I meant as a victim... My father was in the military, in the mid to late 50's, on a NATO base in France. I've been in therapy for a long time and memories are starting to surface. i've been doing quite a bit of research on various mind control projects that were going on, at that time. I found your post and was interested in hearing more about your experience, if you feel comfortable talking about any of it. Thanks. Peace...Kalima

08-10-2005 08:14 PM

Re: seeking MKULTRA info
To make a long story short, I carried around a handful of memories all of my life that lead me to believe I had been sexually abused by family members. Due to the trauma of the abuse, these memories were stuck in my brain and had no beginning and no end. Just fragmented pieces of the gigantic jigsaw puzzle which I am still piecing together as I write.

For four plus decades, I was bothered by the fact that I could not remember my childhood and teenage years. I knew it wasn't due to the normal fading of memories over time. I knew I had amnesia, but I had no clue that it was induced by the perpetrators.

There was always a feeling inside that something was amiss, but I had no idea as to what I would begin to discover several years ago.

Shortly, after 911, I became very depressed and began receiving "suicide commands."

These commands frightened me immensely as there was NO REASON for me to want to kill myself.

I was fighting another ALTER inside who was trying with all of her force to make me suicide.

I survived and was "thrust" into what I can only describe as a nightmare. Reliving the past I so desperately wanted to remember.

How inconceivable it is for one to believe that they were a victim of a mind control program without knowing and for others to believe them as well.

Science-fiction would be the only way to describe my life and the life of all other victims of these programs. Because, certainly, science was involved and what we speak as to the atrocities inflicted upon us are "cast" away by many as fiction.

I sought professional help from my family doctor, a therapist and began to uncover the involvement of the CIA in my life when I was a child.

I discovered etchings on my body and a "butterfly" on my left hand. I noticed what appear to be razor marks on my right wrist.

So, one would have to say that I awoke to discover myself for the very first time.

What type of memories are you having that would lead you to believe you were a victim of MKULTRA?

kalima 08-10-2005 10:14 PM

Re: seeking MKULTRA info
Where to start? there's so much to say...Thank you for all that you shared with me. As I said, I am a multiple. Was dx'd with borderline personality disorder initially, because of a lot of SI issues. Amnesia for the first ten years of life. Have had many memories/dreams of experiments and abductions. Went through the whole alien scenario. Have recently had a 'vision'/memory at a gathering that was so strong, of being in a room, and being experimented on. It was as if what was around me, was suddenly replaced by something that had happened to me before. Since then, much has been falling into place, including an incident that occurred in therapy when a memory tried to surface and I was 'hypnotized' into not speaking. We have an alter called Sleeper who keeps memories from us, but this was so much stronger. As if something had been 'activated' to make us not talk. You had to be inside our mind to know what it felt like.
The fact is that there's not much info on experiments carried out on children of parents in the military. I've contacted Carol Rutz who has reported on what was done to her as a child.
I related to a lot of what you said in your post, including the part about suicide. With me, it's related to the fact that I don't feel like I'm even here. More like a collection of parts. I Lived on communes in the 60's. Worked with war resisters in Canada during the Vietnam era. Ran a Vietnam Vets against the War office, in the state of Washington. Worked as a prostitute. Sang in nightclubs all over the country. Lived all over this country and in Europe.I've been everywhere---even sang at the Bohemian Grove... But I've got huge gaps in my memory...huge chunks of time...I'm not able to piece things together. It's like I don't know who they happened to. Could be I'm a multiple. End of story. But I feel like at this point, maybe I'm finally going back to where it started.
Thanks for talking with me...peace, Kalima

08-11-2005 08:20 AM

Re: seeking MKULTRA info
Well if you sang at Bohemia Grove, that should be a "red flag."

They don't just let anyone in there!!

Hope you do well in your recovery!

Best of Luck!!

kalima 08-11-2005 09:25 AM

Re: seeking MKULTRA info
yeah, the fact is that everything that happened was just convoluted enough to be some sort of weird coincidence, ya know?...even, not remembering...Got some good feedback from Carol Rutz who looked at some of our artwork and related to it. Thanks for the feedback. Much appreciated. Be well. Peace, Kalima

ihavethefear 08-11-2005 10:36 AM

Re: seeking MKULTRA info
Read Behold A Pale Horse by William Cooper. A great read in all areas, of disinformation. It features info on MKULTRA.

08-11-2005 05:39 PM

Re: seeking MKULTRA info

kalima wrote:
yeah, the fact is that everything that happened was just convoluted enough to be some sort of weird coincidence, ya know?...even, not remembering...Got some good feedback from Carol Rutz who looked at some of our artwork and related to it. Thanks for the feedback. Much appreciated. Be well. Peace, Kalima

Yeah, it can be a convoluted mess!! It's called scrambling the brain. They do it daily to the masses with disinformation, too much information, not enough information, lies, deceit, etc., etc., etc.

Scrambled brains, anyone???

08-11-2005 06:36 PM

Re: seeking MKULTRA info

What about your family members? Have you spoken to them about what you are experiencing?

About coincidences. If I understand what you are saying, I can relate to that.

There may be something more involved.

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