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someone 11-26-2009 01:43 PM

I have suffered from depression and need to talk.
Firstly: This part of my book (!) was at the end until I realised not everyone is going to read to the end so I have put it first here goes:If any one else is being effected emotionally/mentally by "stuff out there in the world" (conspiracy theories, aliens,wars, etc.) and is aware of the sheer misinformatition coupled with the fact that they just think they feel and think differently to the mainstream. Can we have a chat please. I would really like to try and find people that think more outside the box and how they have coped with this in their lives. Knowing this information about the world around you does have a consiquence and I feel like I am living a lie not being able to answer a question about "what do you think about Obama?" or isn't this terrible and say what I think. Its like I am not a sheep but I am having to live amongst sheep. I just feel isolated and you can't just talk about this "stuff" anyway never mind how you create a life for yourself knowing this stuff. Where do you go to find people and friends, how you can help the situation/educate the public etc. The need to be able to express yourself with people who don't think your mental health is wonky and can try and get to know you as a complete person with valid view points and ability to see stuff others can't. Is there not like somewhere you can volunteer and get food and board ? Is someone trying to set up a commune where people like minded can be together (like with eco-communities, spiritual communes)? Any ideas. Basically I have the freedom to go anywhere I want as long as I don't have to dip into savings too much, I want to help somehow and be around people in the know and doing something about this mess. I can no longer sit and watch and feel that I know so little about this planet and ourselves-I really need to be able to get my head more into gear and understand where we are at.

Ok the mess we are in, the sheer mass of theories and information available, I think its about time we seriously admit to ourselves where we are really and how little we know about our planet and where we are heading. With that said, I just find it hard to believe how few people are struggling mentally and emotionally with the state the world is in, worrying about our future as a race, if we are going to screw the planet up (is it not at the point yet where everyday people are using logic and comon sense and thinking well there is a possibility we could have been infiltrated by aliens given the evidence and the mess-maybe we better even just look just incase because of the implications- if its not true, at least we have looked into it as a possibility given our limited knowledge). Unless most people don't really admit this or take it on board - I suppose this takes a lot (things people struggle with everyday seem small in comparison). Frankly it's a miracle I am coping so well as I try to be very rational and honest with the earthly situation the only comfort being the relief the possibility that "this may not be all be our mess". I don't think people realise how REAL and SERIOUS the situation is, I mean its bad enough even if you don't go beyond the media version and the environmental damage and famine etc. Are people numb and dumb? I used to think I was over sensitive, maybe I am more honest with myself (and can't pull wool over my own eyes as effectively cos something is pulling at me within) and I allow myself to be aware of more, its like I don't filter reality the same as every one else. I am really struggling with even being able to just get on in the world, to be honest I have struggled in getting on with people anyway. Yet I am even questioning this. I don't understand how a confident and outgoing personality type can end up so isolated. Having said that run of the mill "normal" things were of no interest to me. I do like to get up and dance and have a laugh but feel like I am using people as that is all I get out of the situation, they aren't really friends. Don't get me wrong I would have loved to have made friends and done fun stuff aswell but alcohol didn't interest me (which immediately makes you odd and in N England its blinkered era going back to my youth when you were lucky to see a black person and you were a freak if you did yoga) and the whole thing of getting to know people is long and complex-going through the normal processes in western society and what you talk about. To be honest a lot of people don't really want to know themselves deeper or ask normal questions about why we are here etc. which is fine but I question why? Isn't that a basic human thing. Its like these people are just existing off surface layors as that is all they are aware of. Where is the wonder? The questioning? The what ifs? Can you just get your kicks off booze, shopping and footy and feel fully satisfied and not a hole inside? Im sorry but it aint normal for an intelligent race to be brain washed by materialism and wonder why they are so unhappy with so many problems. I even question if people are even functioning in a normal way. Hang ups they have are pathetic, egos, their own insecurities, gosh are we really that frail? We are just creating a non-sense world. Just say it like it is, say what you mean. I just want to blurt out what Im about, my experiences what I think and does anybody even feel remotely the same cos its bloody lonely. They have emotional hang-ups their own baggage which a lot of people don't even know they have got, let alone analyse to the extent I do. I say superficial as I wanted to develop spiritually, (when I say this I mean to encompas whatever it means to develop more as an intellegient being) I wanted to genuinely grow as a whole being. I even question my emotions, really delve and find out more about myself. Why I feel different/seem to be experiencing the world from perspectives that aren't "normal" etc. I was always a deep thinker and was emotionally very mature and aware of stuff from a young age. I knew all the stuff psychotherapists were saying to me - I know that but how do I get on with people when I want to feel and exist beyond their level? I can't just be happy on fobbing myself off with job, mortgage, girly nights out, going through "normal channells" of getting to know a person etc, the restricted conversation and normal ways of thinking and being. Even new age stuff people get sucked into, it just ISN'T rational on a global scale. New agers really do "believe", I know there are many chanellings and some are genuine information of some use from somewhere. But you just have to look to see what a big mess it all is. There is some truth in many things, but to believe blindly instead of thinking logically, ok so why aren't we REALLY receiving USEFULL INFORMATION and why aren't they telling us about all this other stuff. If there is all this higher intelligence why the big disagreement and mess? Even the new age has much disinformation and control, although some principles have some elements of truth. Obviously people are receiving stuff from somewhere as some are coming out with information beyond their knowledge (or that they couldn't just reel off) and some of it they obviously couldn't have made up and is consistent. We just aren't as safe - it isnt all loving and fluffy and how come they never admit to all this negative alien abduction stuff (conveniently). I would love to be able to find like-minded people who are also struggling with mental/physchological things and how this fits into conspiracy theories. People who aren't going to laugh or think oh we've got a nutcase here. To be honest I think I have quite a good mind in that I look at evidence, try to take a step back and see the whole picture and lately have been trying to think things through. This involves trying to keep an open mind not getting sucked in to things and remaining vigilant. Are most people doing this as they research? Are they aware of hang on I'm getting hooked and even obsessed with only looking at UFO stuff rather than really educating themselves by looking at stuff that hasn't got the "wow" factor and is mundane but actually is essential and relevant to the situation? World history, human pyschology, the media, the way government system has been created, looking at how all the pieces fit together.
What are emotions but things WE have very little control over and yet there are umpteen ways of being able to have be better control over them. Why is it so simple yet difficult to control them? Where do they come from? Why are there so many emotional-disorders? Are these even normal and natural as they occur or are aliens constantly tellepathically influencing them as they project into the mass sub-consciouss? Or have we been genetically implanted. Lets face it, its a possibility. Why is humanity so destructive with its use of negative thoughts and emotions to the point of it not being logical or serving a purpose? They are like stuck records that play the same stuff. A lot of people aren't even aware they do this. For example being critical of people and constantly making judgements, the need to talk behind peoples backs. It has become obsessive. Our addicition to soaps and negative emotions. Well I hate them, give me some good feel stuff please not doom and gloom! The media and the main channells are mannipulating us psychologically in a big way and the fact that all this crap appeals to a lot of people is frightening. Another way in which humanity is not living its natural potential (not that it is ever encouraged or shown how to do this). Finally I do not mean to affend anyone by saying most people are superficial (most of us have to exist like this in an everyday world which is to a degree normal, however how many people even want to go beyond or have time?), its nobodies fault that they need or don't need more from life than their lives give them, you can only be what you can think and feel and what your desires are. What even influences this? Its like as we are becoming "more intelligent" and more people are wanting answers to philosophical etc questions, the more society is less geared to us finding out the answers and is pumping more materialism and distractions into our world. Does anyone feel that they cannot cope and feel the need to try and understand more about the world around them and all the conspiricies? Is any one else reacting in a "normal" confused and what the hell do we do now kind of way? Its like a mass anasthaetic! Come on, its all very well discussing the physical stuff, but what about how people are FEELING about it? Even I, having recently come off medication (for depression) completely for the first time in 10 years, have some how not had a negative reaction to exposing myself to David Ickes stuff and god knows what else. Partly this in itself is making me question stuff, its like my mind is more balanced. I am a different person and see things differently to what I used to. Its like I can think, more fully and balanced. I just can't explain it. Its a miracle having found all kinds of horrible stuff that is going on that it hasn't made me really down. Unless, deep down I owe it to society NOT to let it get to me and NOT being beaten by this, that I am not achieving anything or helping by being like that. Its like a motivation to DO SOMETHING. I do have very active mind and get lots of thoughts which is a pity I can't focus this, think I need to sort some stuff out! I needed to get stuff off my chest. 6 months or so I "got into conspiracy theories" which involved much research including days of watching stuff my friend had researched. Basically I am open minded and have allowed myself to question things on the planet and accept various things no matter how "off the wall" as they do have supportive evidence and when you put pieces of a jigsaw together and just say, ok lets just see.. David Icke, Montauk series books, the illuminati etc. They aren't out of the question. To be honest the mind control thing or whatever would seem possible, suppression of rational thinking call it what you like. I am just finding myself even more isolated as I just cannot believe an average thinker (I have no degrees!) can't even think rationally for themselves as the state of the world is diabolical. Do people really think that out there is humanity at its pinnacle of intelligence? The fact that people DO NOT come to that question and that it is obvious our full important knowledge of scientific information is NOT readily available. The fact that many people do not even admit paranormal stuff/aliens as reality purely by the sheer quantity of eye witnesses. People by their very nature cannot grasp and even begin to understand the world in which we live as most of it "doesnt exist" or is made up of things which are labelled as physically impossible (a basic understanding of quantum physics makes us realise actually this reality DOESN'T act strictly how we thought and that the observer actually changes the physical reality purely by observation). When I started looking into not readily available scientific info that makes other dimensions and stuff probable etc I wondered why there are so many people instantly dismissing the possibility of aliens having run us for thousands of years (many of which won't even look at the stuff and readily dismiss it). Science fiction actually becomes a possibility.

If you can't see there is something not right in the world by now- GET SOME GLASSES!
Are you suspicious about things - then go and find out!
Lets pull together as one big team and help each other figure it out. Lets be resourcefull, respectfull, helpfull and listen to each others advice about how better to deal with this. Lets NOT judge someone as wierd because they have had an experience we don't understand: ADMIT ITS EXISTENCE AND ACKNOWLEDGE IT as something we need to deal with especially if its happening on a large scale. Use our brains, our logic, research and think, question! This whole thing needs to pull as one not seperate bits to try and educate people and "allow people to think more".

albie 11-30-2009 05:53 AM

Re: I have suffered from depression and need to talk.
You know, YOU may be miserable and want to blame it on a conspiracy. But there are plenty of happy people in the world and they just see you as mentally ill. The vast majority of people do not feel like you do. They are, and always will be, unconvinced by your unfounded belief in an evil secret government. YOU know that, that's why you came here to post, where you presumed you'd find people who DO believe. Because you know full well that the world will never share your view.

You KNOW that.

someone 11-30-2009 12:46 PM

Re: I have suffered from depression and need to talk.
[quote=albie;63317]You know, YOU may be miserable and want to blame it on a conspiracy. But there are plenty of happy people in the world and they just see you as mentally ill. The vast majority of people do not feel like you do. They are, and always will be, unconvinced by your unfounded belief in an evil secret government. YOU know that, that's why you came here to post, where you presumed you'd find people who DO believe. Because you know full well that the world will never share your view.

There is a lot of suffering in the world and a lot of unhappy people aswell, I dont deny the many happy ones but I don't think the "happy ones" realise how many unhappy ones there are (and how much suffering there is). It is fact that more people have dirty water than clean, more people live in poverty than don't. I knew there was a lot but, having seen the figures in various respected magazines and from scientific research it was worse than what I thought. People are becoming more aware, hence there being a lot of charities being created and the work of existing charities is expanding. However, I don't think it is mentally ill to find this world "challenging emotionally" or however you want to describe it. I think some people just allow themselves to see more and when they do, they naturally find it upsetting and feel pretty helpless. I think this is called being human, unfortunately too many of us in the more developed countries can't see the extent of this, being too pre-occupied with our material world.

RussyB 12-01-2009 02:32 AM

Why I am Here
Hi my name is Russell Brooks and I have currently written a book called "The Pandora's Box", and I hope through this forum I will be able to interact with my potential readers. Moreover, this platform will give me a chance to showcase my book in front of new readers. Hope I can touch their chords. Thanks CLUB CONSPIRACY for lending me the space on your forum to discuss, share and exchange. GREAT FORUM!!

albie 12-01-2009 06:32 AM

Re: I have suffered from depression and need to talk.
>>However, I don't think it is mentally ill to find this world "challenging emotionally" or however you want to describe it.

I never said that. I said you APPEAR mentally ill if you blame a secret evil government for the wrongs of the world. It is not mental illness that brings about this paranoid world is ignorance, gullibility and laziness.

mello..melliexo 12-14-2009 09:02 PM

Re: I have suffered from depression and need to talk.
It is hard for most to stick with a positive attitude through out this life due to all the pain, confusion, misstrust and too common attitude of life for profit.
Have you read the book Trance Formation America? This helps to broaden the mind in terms of were the attitude in the undercurrent comes from.
Most that we grow from is controlled by a majority of sociopaths to put it lightly and therefore it's not a suprise that the values, morales and ethics within society are peculiar, cruel, racist, sexist and offensive. Most are decensortised against sex and violence with an ever growing level of compliance. Therefore they don't think to question whats put forth by our government or otherwise prefer to sit in a form or ignorant bliss.
My sister went through the mental health system when she was 16 for two years and is now suffering severe drug withdrawel. the coruption within this system chanelled through docs and the courts. The experiences she went through were deeply traumatic and she prectically died... we still don't know how deeply the damadge has penetrated. she was raped emotionally and litterally and had her mind completelly fucked with. Shes currently going through severe drug withdrawel, and though physically she is good mentally? The pharmasutical companies gain alot of profit from such patient who are pumped with all different forms of medications and on illegal levels.
This first hand glympse started me off to become aware of a broader level of corruption that can account for what happened to my sister. her story is to common and the only reason we got her home was due to us getting a substantial amount of DNA evidence. When she is ok to make a statement to court than we will take it to the supreme court, well be the first to have a such profound Dna evidence in terms of this catergory.
I saw what anti psycotics can do to a person and anti depressents tend to cause long term depression down the track. Make sure you thurally research what you get prescribed because there is alot more to them than what your GP or whom ever, may say.
I have been down though im able to reason with my emotions and resolve what is paining me in whatever way to an extent this has taken alot of self controle and practice. Though i am lucky to have others that i can talk to about the world who share a sceptical view as i do which is lucky. More people are aware to a certain level than you may think.
I'm only young and am hoping to advance my education and really make a name for my self so that people can take me seriously and therefore i will be able to express my beliefs without being shut down. Thinking about this helps me get up in the morning.
It is hard to say what is true and what is not due to cover up mixed in with missinformation so of course it would be difficult for some who are unaware of any other conspepts other than what is put forward to them on the news and such, to suddenly switch there view because someone is claiming such and such.
You have to approach it from the right angle. like eg: i read about pedophelia, sadomassicust and ritual abuse to enduce MPD and create sex slaves...etc. I didnt know if this was true though it deffinitelly sounded plausible. than unfortunatally after a few experiences and more knowledge things began to click and now i can say for sure that this shit goes down.
You can't assume that someone hasn't got pain in there life or are ignorant just because they pass you by on the street with a smile on there face and blingged n branded out. I don't know anyone that lives in ignorant bliss though there front projects it, underneath they don't.
Obviously if the shit in the world effects you than you are empathetic and compassionate and that's not something to be ashamed of. you just need to learn to work with it grow stronger emotionally and stand up for what you believe in as long as it's bassed on evidence.
Its so sad that those that are bad arnt afraid to be though those that are good tend to be spineless. There are far to many bystanders in the world and do what you believe is right and just.
Awareness shouldn't make you crawel away from the light. You should progress to be the best that you can and help as many as you can along the way. I'm sorry you went through depression that is hard. Get out there and explore what makes you feel good like dancing, running, acting or what the fuck ever you know. than people will be more drawn to you. who cares if you are cynical and know too much thats grate. the right sort of others will appreciate this aslong as you consider them to.

BlueAngel 12-14-2009 10:25 PM

Re: I have suffered from depression and need to talk.
This forum does not employ mental health professionals for persons who are in need of those services.

You never know whom or what you might encounter here.

Many members of this forum delight in trying to destablize one's mental health.

It may only serve to do you more harm than good to seek the help of anonymous internet posters on this forum for whatever it is that ails you.

Not trying to mean.

Just advising you of the facts.

Please consider looking for help from people who are not anonymous posters on a conspiracy forum such as your doctor.

mello..melliexo 12-15-2009 03:59 AM

Re: I have suffered from depression and need to talk.
Yeah i totally agree with you.
you really don't know what type of people you incounter here there are some seriouse oddballs which could cause seriouse emotional damadge.

You have to weigh up the knowledge, i dn't know really
it would be impossible to define the factors that contribute to your state anyhow as a whole just bassed on one post

magneeto 12-16-2009 12:19 AM

Re: I have suffered from depression and need to talk.
I sufered with depresion for awile then got into Nikken magnetic farinfrared bed and haven't been depressed since I also weare the large neck magnet during the day to keep sharpe or if I have a bad day that way.
Your doing well if your of meds and all this new world order mess doesn't bother you to the point of falling off again. I've had a few moments lately

Algebra 12-18-2009 10:37 AM

Re: I have suffered from depression and need to talk.
Im manic deppresive wich means extreme highs and desperate lows.
The thing you need to remember is that although you feel like your alone in your thoughts. Many people out there feel exactly the same. Being different doesnt mean theres something wrong with you. It just means your more sensitive to the things most people let fly straight over there heads. While they walk around blind to the truth. You have to take on the responsiblity of dealing with it or it will drive you mad. A task which can seem overwhelming at times.

Just because you realize something that most would'nt. does'nt mean your paranoid however be careful who you share these with as they may see you that way.

Thats why sites like this are great because you can share things you've noticed or experienced with people who wont just laugh at and judge you, but instead. Offer some objective arguments as whether it could be true or not. There are some exceptions but just ignore the freaks.

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