Kid's View Of History
Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
hydraulics, i.e. hieroglyphs... Sarah, i.e. Sahara... Camelot (Efsanevi Kral Arthur'un kenti), i.e. camel...
The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"
Guinessis, i.e. Genesis (Hilkat, Yaradılış)...
Moses led the hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
unleavened = mayasız, hamursuz... Mount Cyanide = Mount Sinai, Sina Dağı kastediliyor...
Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
Solomom = "Solomon" olmalıydı: Hz. Süleyman... porcupine = kastedilen, "concubine" = odalık, cariye... porcupine = oklu kirpi...
The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.
moth = pervane (böcek)...
Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
wedlock = nikah, evlilik...
In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.
biscuits, i.e. discus (disk)... java, i.e. javelin (cirit)...
Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.
"Romany" ile karıştırıyor = Türkçedeki "Roman", "Romanlar", "Roman dili" karşılığı...
Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."
extinguished = "kendini söndürdü, harcadı!!" [Aslında, "distinguished" = kendini tanıttı, ün kazandı, demek istiyor, çocuk...] The Ides Of March = Eski Roma takviminde 15 Mart... Şekspir'in "Julius Caesar" piyesinin başlarında bir falcı Sezar'ı "Beweare of the Ides of March" şeklinde uyarır... "gasped out", şahane !! Bu çocuğun ilerde büyük şair olacağı besbelli... Biraz kulağı zayıf: Et tu, Brute???
Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
tyranny = tyrant, olmalı... "Roma yanarken, o da keman çalıyordu" anekdotu bakın neye dönüşmüş: "Yurttaşlara keman çalarak onlara işkence ederdi"!! Harika!!
Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw.
"stake" (kazık) ve "steak" (biftek) birbirine karıştırılmış: "Yakılıp biftek haline getirildi" olmuş... canonized = Azize mertebesi verildi. (Tabii Kilise tarafından, Shaw'un "Joan of Arc" adlı piyesinin önsözünde bundan söz edilir -- sanırım sınıfta o metni okumuşlardır.)
Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
Ne demiş, ne demiş, Magna Carta? "Hiç kimse aynı suç için iki kez asılmamalıdır!!"
In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.
"midevil", yani "medieval"... "alliterate", yani "illiterate" = ümmi, okuma yazma bilmez... ("alliteration" ise ses tekrarına dayalı bir şiir tekniği)... "futile" = boşuna, beyhude... Ama, çocuğun "the futile ages" ile neyi kastettiğini anlayamadım... Üyelerimizden öneriler??
Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.
Bu tümcenin anlamını dikkatle izleyin: Giyom Tell, oğlunun kafasının üstünde ayakta dururken...
Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."
Harika!! Harika!! Son bölüm: Birliklerinin önünde soyununca, herkes "hurra" diye bağırdı" anlamını veriyor... Eh, herhalde "virginity" başına vurmuş olsa gerek!
It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood.
Gütenberg neyi icat etmiş?? Bir başks "icat" ise "kan dolaşımı" imiş... Çocuk, "icat" ve "buluş" u karıştırıyor...
Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
Sir Raleigh neden tarihi bir kişilikmiş? Sigarayı icat edip, sigara içmeğe başladığı için!! Hele, Sir Francis Drake!! Dünyayı "cimcumsize" yani "sünnet" etmiş... (Çocuk aslında "circumnavigate", çevresini dolaştı demek istiyor... Peki ne ile? clipper = 1. Hızlı bir cins tekne... 2. Bahçe makası... Böyle olunca da, "30 metrelik bir makasla dünyayı sünnet etti"!!!
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
hysterectomies (!) = "history plays" kastediliyor... Islamic pentameter (!) = "iambic pentameter" kastediliyor. (Yani, beş "I am" den oluşan vezin)... to be laid = en hafif tabiriyle "yatağa atılmak" (zamane çocuğu! Olayı başka nasıl ifade etsinki!)
Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
Donkey Hote = Don Quixote... Don Kişot... Meğer Milton yitirdiği Cennet'i, karısı ölünce yeniden kazanmış...
During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe.
cursing (küfretmek) = Kastedilen "cruising"... "Santa Maria" idi galiba, Değerli Üyeler, ama çocuk herhalde çok Pekos Bill okumuş...
Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim's Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.
Pilgrim's Progress = John Bunyan'ın ünlü kitabı (tarih) ve tabii Amerika!ya ill göçenlerle hiç ilgisi yok... Ah, bütün bunların sorumlusu meğerse kimmiş!!
One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis.
tacks (raptiye-ler) = Kastedilen "tax", yani vergi. Meğerse Amerikan Bağımsızlık Savaşı, ingilizler çaya raptiye karıştırtırdıkları için çıkmış!! Koloni halkı paketlerini pulsuz göndermekte ısrar ediyorlarmış... Sonunda "taksilere beleş binme" hakkını elde etmişler: to pay taxes = vergi ödemek; to pay for taxis = taksiye para ödemek...
Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
virgin = "from Virginia", "a Virginian" demek istiyor... singer = "signer", imzacı demek istemiş. Neyse, Jefferson ve Franklin'in şarkıcı olduklarını, üstelik Jefferson'un "bakire" olduğunu öğrenmek çok sevindirici; ama Franklin'in bakire olmadığına üzüldüm doğrusu...
Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.
hostility = anybody for a guess what was meant?... bare arms = "fire arms" yerine...
Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.
precedent (=ön örnek, ilk örnek, emsal) = tabii, "president" yerine... died in infancy = Lincoln'ün annesi bebekken ölmüş!... Kendi elleriyle inşa ettiği bir orman kulubesinde doğmuş!... emancipation (kölelerin özgürlüğe kavuşması) yerine "emasculation", yani "erkekliğinin yolunması, iktidarsızlaştırma"... 1865'de sinema filmi!... Çılgın olduğu varsayılan bu aktörün yaptıkları böylece aktörlük kariyerini de mahfetmiş...
Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.
Bu çocukcağız herşeyi birbirine karıştırmış, ama önemli değil: Sir Isaac Newton'dan çok daha büyük bir keşif yapmış: Yerçekimi özellikle sonbaharda elmalar ağaçlerdan düşerken belli oluyor !!
Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.
in between = bu ikisi ile meşgul olmadığı zamanlarda; araya sıkıştırarak... He practiced ...etc = Tavan arasında sakladığı bir kızkurusu üzerinde egzersiz yapıyordu... Piyanonun atalarından olan "spinet" ile karıştırmış... Bach died from ...etc = Eh, gramer bilmiyorum diye kendinize haksızlık yapmayın...
Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
Kuşkusuz, Beethoven hakkında önemli yeni bilgiler !!
The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't have any children.
"Baroness" : "barren" (kısır, verimsiz) sözcüğü ile karıştırılmış...
The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.
İlk tümcenin mantığı şahane !!... "thorn" (diken), "throne" (taht) yerine; sonuçta Kıraliçe Victoria 63 yıl diken üstünde oturmuş... moral = ahlaklı; virtue = erdem...
The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.
İnsanlar "reproducing" = üremeyi elle yapmayı bırakıp, makineleştirmişler... Madman = "Madame" kastediliyor... Marx Brothers = Filimleri Türkçeye "Üç Ahbap Çavuşlar" adı ile çevrilen ünlü komedyen üçlü...
The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.
assignation = "assassination", süikast kastediliyor... "Arch-Duke", arşidük için, "Arch-Duck" baş-ördek nasıl ama... usher = yol göstermek, önden gitmek... Ve geldik son muhteşem tümceye: Böylece İnsanlık Tarihinin Kıçına Yeni Bir Yanlışlık Girdi...
Re: Kid's View Of History
worth bumping up from under
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