But just wonderin if anyone else has taken one for team?
Yes, all the time, although not exactly in the way that you describe. Everyday, though, I am reminded of the relationships that I no longer have or can even consider; the people I have learned I cannot confide in; friends, relatives, professional people, authority figures that I can no longer admire, respect or even innately trust. I often feel alienated even around closest family members, since there is too much I cannot share with them or even pretend to indulge their own blissful ignorance.
The burden of knowing the truth is that it changes all of us and the way that we look at the world, at ourselves, at life itself. I know as Dr. Makow and others advise, it is important not to become overly negative, pessimistic or depressed, but I also realize from personal experience that that is much easier said than done.
Even worse, I cannot even justify a healthy dose of contempt for many of those whom I no longer trust or associate with, as Svali, the renowned Illuminati defector explains in this interview segment:
Svali: I want to address another misconception. That is, the one that the Illuminists know that they are evil. When I was in the group, I and those around me were idealogically committed to the agenda as being GOOD. I thought I was helping others reach their full potential when I was a trainer.
I believed that after years of sweat and hard work, that my intelligence won out, and that I made an excellent leader. I fought Jonathan and others on the council when I thought they were unfair, and stood up for the people beneath me. Others did the same. They honestly think they are doing a GOOD thing, and if you told them it was wrong, or evil, they would look confused.
But for what it's worth, you are not alone.
Almost 250 people have already found their way to this website, and more are on the way, I'm certain. Probably most if not all of them can sympathize with your hurt and attest to similar tales of suffering and sacrifice of their own.