I am sorry you lost your gf, to the first man..
dark, I am sorry about your wife too..But I agree with everything freeman said to you on this thread..
No cause or movement should ever take precedence over your time spent, and attention, love, and quality of life with your Spouse. Not suggesting that you are doing that, making other things a priorty..just that even the best of causes can't take from the main families God has given us..They need to be our first love, time and priorty, under God..aside from everyone and everything else..In MHO..But I know believe God would agree.
That's why I was talking about taking some time from here the other day..Even in the best realtionships, the Internet can be habit forming, and sometimes we have other things habits or hobbies that can simply make widening gaps of time, taking us from the healing, uniting and constructive time we can spend with those we love..You will never get those days back..but you can't regret forever..That's why it's good to think about it now..
I saw you seem to be hurt with your wife..maybe she is hurt too..you kind of sound mad at her..Maybe she is needing inner healing and is fearful and on top of it may feel overwhelmed with raising a new life you both love so much..Please try to listen to what freeman said though..God's Word says.."Husbands do not be embittered with your wives". The biggest thing you can do to defeat this dumb old beast system in your own life- is to LOVE your wife..and forgive her..and this means daily..
You both being imperfect people will place you in with the rest of the human race, so you have a good start..The fact God brought you together in Holy matrimony means He ordained this. We should never look to be about seperating this..And the "d" word shouldn't be broached, EVER..The Bible says "God hates divorce". Every now and then there are some in awful situtations..like abuse..but this is not that, I'm sure. And you know..Jesus said divorce was really not an option, but only really for unfaithfulness and then it wasn't His best, but He said man did it due to the "hardness of their hearts".
There are new ways of learning to relate.. I believe you both want unity and lovingkindness..I'd encourage you to seek a Christ-like way of dealing with this, or it will do more than damage your child, which is terrible, it would profoundly hurt your life, words don't do justice.
But God can reunite anyone Dark..Please don't buy their ways of thinking about men and women needing to fight and being from "different planets". You were both born on Earth and made by God.He loves you and can heal your love and marriage. I will pray for you too
P.S. Here is a great set of info. about marriage. But you must be willing to set aside pride and unforgiveness..I'll be plain with you, we all get some selfishness...It can only die and benefit your marriage.It must die and will die for the ehalth of your love and marriage...But the loving faithful unity God gave you in your marriage MUST be your biggest priorty..truthfully.
Try to pray together..Maybe this can be a goal, as a start..Start learning to not keep a record of wrongs and ..forgive each other often and generously..Please consider a trusted Christian Pastor or Christian counselor for counseling who is for the Biblical view of marriage and not divorce as an option..Maybe a Christian counselor who knows of some of these teachers..
Gary and Barb Rosberg and Dave and Claudia Arp are some of the best..
PLEASE look into the Rosbergs info...they are a JEWEL
http://search.family.org/custom/query.html?rq=0&col=aaafocus&col=resource&col=foyc &col=pi&qp=&qs=&qc=&style=Family&ws=0&la=&qm=0&st= 1&nh=10&lk=1&rf=0&oq=&rq2=0&qt=rosberg&Search.x=21 &Search.y=1