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Old 10-31-2005, 11:32 PM
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Default Re: Unmasking the Truth about Witches

A normal Wiccan family having a pleasent night on the town.

The keen observer will notice that this family has all the key ingredients necessary for today's contemporary happy pagan.

1. The Matriach, or mother figure. This old hag looks like she attended the Woodstock festival once too many times in the 60's. The former acid-dropping crone is the veritable midwife of her community.

Ask her about any obscure piece of Wiccan trivia and she will give you reem after reem of useless information trapped inside that giant grey spider web she uses for a brain.

She know her tarot. She knows her herbs. She knows her candle rituals. She knows her marijuana. She has a black cat named demon fairy. And she delights to go to Friday evening Merry Meet where she and an alotment of her other washed up hippies meet to discuss how horrible Christians are.

2. The daughter figures. The plump, young broom riders are for the environment. They save whales. They read Harry Potter and Da Vinci Code 24 hours a day. They love Charmed, and Buffy. They are experts in Advanced Teen Wicca for Beginners, and thus, they have finished every prerequisite necessary for being a Grand High Priestess of the Alexandrian Gardernarian order of Feminist Druidesss Wittans. They are for animal rights until presented with a medium rare T bone steak. They get horrible marks in school, which they all blaim on Christian racisim against the fairy folk.

3. Then there's the Father figure. This varcarious excuse for a dad has no clue what is going on, nor does he care in the slightest. He must endure living with a coven of cackling witches. All he wants to know is if the bar can tack an extended tab.

And there you have it; a fine example of today's sophisticated, advanced pagan.

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