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Old 05-04-2006, 02:41 PM
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Jimbo Jimbo is offline
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Default Re: Collapse Of US As A Super-Power

Missery Accomplished - :-o :-o :-o

Missery Accomplished !!!

A political satire filled w/ unsavory jokes about the administration, & the most hilarious part, for the administration. Surprised he was not arrested on the spot.

Colbert Shocks The Media Silent
http://www.alternet.org/mediaculture/35804/

Stephen Colbert's Remarks To The PresidentTranscript
http://www.alternet.org/mediaculture/35797/
<blockquote>And as excited as I am to be here with the president, I am appalled to be surrounded by the liberal media that is destroying America, with the exception of Fox News.

Fox News gives you both sides of every story, the president's side and the vice president's side.
But the rest of you, what are you thinking, reporting on NSA wiretapping or secret prisons in Eastern Europe? Those things are secret for a very important reason -- they're superdepressing.

And if that's your goal, well, misery accomplished. Over the last five years you people were so good over tax cuts, WMD intelligence, the effect of global warming. We Americans didn't want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. Those were good times, as far as we knew.

But, listen, let's review the rules. Here's how it works. The president makes decisions; he's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Put them through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know -- fiction.

Because really, what incentive do these people have to answer your questions, after all? I mean, nothing satisfies you. Everybody asks for personnel changes. So the White House has personnel changes. Then you write they're just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This ship is not sinking. This administration is soaring. If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg.

Now, it's not all bad guys out there. Some heroes, Christopher Buckley, Jeff Sachs, Ken Burns, Bob Schieffer. By the way, Mr. President, thank you for agreeing to be on my show. I was just as shocked as everyone here is, I promise you. How is Tuesday night for you? I've got Frank Rich, but we can bump him. I mean bump him. I know a guy; just say the word.

Let's see who we got here tonight: Gen. Mosley, Air Force chief of staff. Gen. Peter Pace. They still support Rumsfeld. You guys aren't retired yet, right? Right, they still support Rumsfeld. Look, by the way, I've got a theory about how to handle these retired generals causing all this trouble: Don't let them retire. C'mon, we've got a stop-loss program. Let's use it on these guys. I've seen Zinni and those guys on Wolf Blitzer: If you're strong enough to go on one of those pundit shows, you can stand on a bank of computers and order men into battle. C'mon.

Jesse Jackson is here. I had him on the show. Very interesting and challenging interview. You can ask him anything, but he's going to say what he wants at the pace that he wants.

It's like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is.

Justice Scalia's here. May I be the first to say welcome, sir. [He makes a series of obscene Italian gestures]. You look fantastic. How are you?

John McCain is here. John McCain -- John McCain. What a maverick. Somebody find out what fork he used on his salad, because I guarantee you it wasn't a salad fork. He could have used a spoon. There's no predicting him. So wonderful to see you coming back into the Republican fold. I have a summer house in South Carolina; look me up when you go to speak at Bob Jones University. So glad you've seen the light.
Mayor Nagin is here from New Orleans, the chocolate city. Yeah, give it up. Mayor Nagin, I would like to welcome you to Washington, D.C., the chocolate city with a marshmallow center. And a graham cracker crust of corruption. It's a Mallomar is what I'm describing, a seasonal cookie.

Joe Wilson is here, the most famous husband since Desi Arnaz. And of course he brought along his lovely wife, Valerie Plame. Oh, my god! Oh, what have I said? I am sorry, Mr. President. I meant to say he brought along his lovely wife, Joe Wilson's wife.

Patrick Fitzgerald is not here tonight? Dodged a bullet

And of course we can't forget the man of the hour, new Press Secretary Tony Snow. Secret service name, Snow Job. What a hero. Took the second toughest job in government, next to, of course, the ambassador to Iraq.

Got some big shoes to fill, Tony. Scott McClellan could say nothing like nobody else. McClellan, eager to retire. Really felt like he needed to spend more time with Andrew Card's children. Mr. President, I wish you hadn't made the decision too quickly, sir. I was vying for the job. I think I would have made a fabulous press secretary. I have nothing but contempt for these people. I know how to handle these clowns. In fact, sir, I brought along an audition tape, and with your indulgence, I'd like to at least give it a shot. So, ladies and gentlemen, my press conference.</blockquote>
Full Story:
http://www.alternet.org/mediaculture/35804/

Colbert Rips Bush To His Face -- (Video) --
http://alternet.org/blogs/peek/35669/ A Must Watch !!!

Commentary: FINALLY!
<blockquote>So, Bush had to suffer through some minor discomfort....poor baby! For six years we've been lied to, ignored, spoken to like idiots, strategically robbed of our civil liberties, had atrocities committed in our name, had elected officials (many of whom are the benefactors of a corrupt election system) that have been sold to the highest bidding corporations - at the detriment of the people - paying for it with their jobs, healthcare, the environment, international respect, and the basic principles that America was founded on. Wrapped in the flag, they attempt to mask themselves and their greedy power grab as the honorable actions of patriots. The Bush PR machine, and it's various spin doctors have gotten so far away from reality, that they actually believe the b.s. they've been pushing on the rest of us. For six years I've been sickened, ashamed, outraged, infuriated, insulted, disgusted, astonished, and mortified by the words, actions, and utter arrogance of Bush and his cohorts. Reeling in the disbelief that they continue to get away with it, that the people continue to ALLOW them to get away with it. With each new revelation, feeling sure that this will be the one that finally stops them in their tracks. The outrage that so many Americans find themselves steeped in goes well beyond discomfort. FINALLY, Bush gets a little taste of what it feels like to be subjected to something that makes your stomach turn, with no way to stop to it, and no shelter in sight to escape the shit storm you suddenly find yourself in the middle of. Maybe it was only a few minutes, a fraction of a percent of what many have been feeling for six years now, but I feel absolutely no shame in experiencing such joy in his discomfort. Thanks to Colbert, Bush has at least some idea of just how much he is disliked among the citizens he claims to represent. Since he doesn't read papers, pay attention to poll numbers, or watch anything but Fox News - this is something he may not otherwise be aware of. Perhaps it will help to deflate the enormous ego he so arrogantly and shamelessly displays on a regular basis. Hopefully, this is just the first ripple in a looming tidal wave of truthiness. </blockquote>
Thank God for "Freedom Of Speech"...
8-)
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