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Old 08-27-2006, 11:49 PM
Posts: n/a
Default Re: MISS 2008 PRESIDENT


I occasionally receive inquiries from people who have read my previous letters and want to know why I claim that Mr. Spectre the Hater is never without a sick thing to say. I always try to answer such inquiries to the best of my ability and that's precisely what I'm about to do now. The rest of this letter is focused exclusively on Spectre, not because I harbor any ill-will towards him but because there may be absolutely nothing we can do to prevent him from making good on his word to pursue a conceited agenda under the guise of false concern for the environment, poverty, civil rights, or whatever. When we compare this disturbing conclusion to the comforting picture purveyed by his cronies, we experience psychological stress or "cognitive dissonance". Our only recourse is to warn the public against those lackluster mythomaniacs whose positive accomplishments are always practically nil, but whose conceit can scarcely be excelled. Having already explained that his inclinations epitomize classism in its truest form, let me now state that you shouldn't let him intimidate you. You shouldn't let him push you around. We're the ones who are right, not Spectre. Following this line of logic, it would appear that I once told him that he is chomping at the bit for a chance to deprive individuals of the right to feed the starving, house the homeless, cure the sick, and still find wonder and awe in the sunrise and the moonlight. How did he respond to that? He proceeded to curse me off using a number of colorful expletives not befitting this letter, which serves only to show that Spectre yields to the mammalian desire to assert individuality by attracting attention. Unfortunately, for Spectre, "attract attention" usually implies "lash out at everyone and everything in sight".

It is easy to see faults in others. But it takes perseverance to seek some structure in which the cacophony introduced by Spectre's politics might be systematized, reconciled, and made rational. A great many decent people are just as distressed as I am about Spectre's propositions. The same might be said of abhorrent nobodies. One does not have to spawn a society in which those with the most deviant lifestyle, cruel behavior, or personal failures are given the most by the government in order to stick to the facts and offer only those arguments that can be supported by those facts. It is a mingy person who believes otherwise. Believe it or not, I really want to believe that Spectre is a decent, honest person. Unfortunately, as is often the case, what I want to believe proves to be fantasy. The truth is that everything Spectre writes is unreadably desultory. Regular readers of my letters probably take that for granted, but if I am to argue about Spectre's threats, I must explain to the population at large that it's irrelevant that my allegations are 100% true. Spectre distrusts my information and arguments and will forever maintain his current opinions.

Our national media is controlled by uncouth goofballs. That's why you probably haven't heard that Spectre's hangers-on get a thrill out of protesting. They have no idea what causes they're fighting for or against. For them, going down to the local protest, carrying a sign, hanging out with Spectre, and meeting some other caustic, closed-minded thought police is merely a social event. They're not even aware that if we let Spectre perpetuate the nonsense known technically as the analytic/synthetic dichotomy, civilization itself will fall. Well, that's a bit too general of a statement to have much meaning, I'm afraid. So let me instead explain my point as follows: I, for one, do not propose a supernatural solution to the problems we're having with him. Instead, I propose a practical, realistic, down-to-earth approach that requires only that I rage, rage against the dying of the light. Will I allow Spectre to transform our little community into a global crucible of terror and gore? As long as there is breath in my earthly body, I assure you I will not. What I will do, however, is inform as many people as possible that there is a problem here. A very large, uncontrollable, acrimonious problem. All of the bad things that are currently going on are a symptom of his impolitic doctrines. They are not a cause; they are an effect. This has been a long letter, but I feel that its length is in direct proportion to its importance. Why? Because Mr. Spectre the Hater has always promoted the trendiest causes, the causes that all of the important people promote.
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