The disinformation is that his name and memory was tortured out of me so that we could not be witnesses against the government.

I sit in a wooden chair and I am strapped in. I am hooked up to an electricshock machine. There is a man behind me who has a finger and a thumb on the pressure points in my neck.

Each time I say his time, I am shocked. I clench my teeth and my body tightens from the shock. My head is forced down. My body is jolted.

I tell them adamantly that I am never going to forget his name or what he did to me.

They tell me that they have ways of making people forget. When they are through with me, I won't remember my own name.

As I spit his name out through clenched teeth, my mouth is trembling.

I try to resist their force.

They say, let us hear you say his name again. My head goes back from another blast of shock.

I tell them they might as well just kill me because I am never going to forget his name, his face, or THEM!

I am told that the "razor blade incident" was a forbidden subject. He was a forbidden subject. I would never speak of him again.

I return home and breakthrough memories occur. I think anger sometimes helped me not to "remember to forget."

I am sure there continued to be contact with him as I remember that he delivered his first truly successful album to my home and further disinformation and control was implemented.

In Peace,
BlueAngel