Re: So when do we tell the children?
Yes, I understand what you have gone through, Mary. I have endured enough similar experiences in my own family. Once they start the persecution, it doesn't end swiftly or mercifully. There is no help from the courts, police, the media, the so-called bulwarks of western democratic society. They all lock hands, and the victim goes through an almost surreal experience of helplessness and alienation.
I respect your bravery and tenacity, and you are right: I suppose it is necessary to raise one's children to be "two-faced", so that they can deal with the dualism and hypocrisy inherent in this sham of western democracy. Also, I think that nohope187 is correct in that this process of "reverse indoctrination" must begin at the earliest possible age. Yet, I still feel that there are some elements that are difficult to reveal to young people in their formative years, maybe even dangerous to their emotional wellbeing if handled improperly.
I suppose a good starting point might be the remonstrances of Jesus against the authority figures of his day:
The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses' seat. Therefore whatever they tell you to observe, that observe and do, but do not do according to their works; for they say and do not do.
Matthew 23:3 (NKJV)
P.S. And good luck with your songs, Mary. They are really inspirational and can help a lot of people, even if you don't get a recording contract.