The Story of DamnTheMan
The Story of DamnTheMan:
DamnThe Man was born in the little Swiss town of Nutencracker in 1959. His given name was Alois Von Supenrutentootenken. His father WallaWalla Von Supenrutentootenken worked in the local chocolate mine high on Mt HoffenBroffen. It was a cold job mining chocolate from the top of Mt HoffenBroffen, but someone had to do it. They lived with a St. Bernard named Ruff'n Drunk. Many said that this was really Alois' mum, but I doubt it, she was too good looking. One day Daddy Supenrutentootenken went to work in the Chocolate Mines and slipped on an almond falling 791 feet down Mt HoffenBroffen. He bounced 37 times before coming to rest on top of Nesta Mesta's hen haus. He was pronounced dead of broken nuts and burried on the side of Mt HoffenBroffen in site of his beloved chocolate Mine. The Chocolate Mine was later clossed when the miners hit its creamy nougat center. Seems there was no market in Switzerland for cold creamy nougat. Times got hard and many Miners joined the army and became Majors.
Little Alois (DamnTheMan) eventually sobered up and left the St. Bernard high and dry. Moving from Nutencracker he came to live in the valley village of Mittenzweitor where many kittens with mittens once chased mice and ate ice. Alois arrived in the village dejected, rejected, and injected seeking his way in the world. Eventually after many trials and tribulations and a few aquittals, Little Alois found himself working for the local stove maker. The company's name was Das StovencookenHotzen Company. This company was very famous for its stove flues and here is where little Alois found his place. The Flues had to be fitten in the pipein and this is what little Alois was choosen to do. Each day Little Alois would be fitten the flues in the pipein. Day after day Little Alois was fittin in the pipein. One day Little Alois got tired of his job and screamed out "I hate these damn flues. The lues are ruining my life. Every where I look flues and more flues. Why it was probably the flue in the chocolate mine that made my Daddy dearest fall off Mt.HoffenBroffen and crack his nut. The damn flues did it. As Little Alois was taken away to the Swiss Chalet fruit farm he was heard to say damn the many flues, damn the man.................... This is how he became known as DamnTheMan and ended up hating flues.