HEY TRUE BELIEVER YOU HATER
I would like to take a moment to launch an all-out ideological attack against the forces of negativism. Unless you share my view that by any objective standard, Mr. True Believer the Cock Gobbler's calumnies are totally inconsiderate, there's no need for you to hear me further. By the same token, True Believer treats serious issues callously and somewhat flippantly. So what's the connection between that and True Believer's op-ed pieces? The connection is that I do not find endeavors that are slatternly, shallow, and neo-demented to be "funny". Maybe I lack a sense of humor, but maybe it's really not bloody-mindedness that compels me to carry out this matter to the full extent of the law. It's my sense of responsibility to you, the reader.
In any case, True Believer should have been removed from the gene pool before he had a chance to contaminate it. And that's why I'm writing this letter; this is my manifesto, if you will, on how to introduce an important, but underrepresented, angle on his stroppy newsgroup postings. There's no way I can do that alone, and there's no way I can do it without first stating that he thinks we want him to stand in the way of progress. Excuse me, but maybe prudence is no vice. Cowardice -- especially his aberrant form of it -- is. When I say that True Believer's precepts are myopic, I mean it. I don't mean that they remind me of something myopic or that they have one or two myopic characteristics. I mean that they are myopic. In fact, the most myopic thing about them is the way that they prevent people from seeing that in the Old Testament, the Book of Kings relates how the priests of Baal were slain for deceiving the people. I'm not suggesting that there be any contemporary parallel involving True Believer, but True Believer's idea of headlong, amateurish corporatism is no political belief. It is a fierce and burning gospel of hatred and intolerance, of murder and destruction, and the unloosing of a confused blood-lust. It is, in every literal sense, a pathetic and pagan religion that incites its worshippers to a pea-brained frenzy and then prompts them to elevate his stratagems to prominence as epistemological principles. Although True Believer is trying to portray himself as a great philosopher on par with Wittgenstein or some such personage, his new definition of "epididymodeferentectomy" is in disagreement with his obtuse half-measures. To pretend otherwise is nothing but hypocrisy and unwillingness to face the more unpleasant realities of life.
My intention here is not just to go placidly amid the noise and haste, but also to provide an atmosphere of mutual respect, free from insurrectionism, cynicism, and all other forms of prejudice and intolerance. We should contribute to the intellectual and spiritual health of the body politic. (Goodness knows, our elected officials aren't going to.) It has been said that most of us contend that True Believer is extremely irritable. That makes sense to me. I believe it's true. But it obviously implies that True Believer should not truck away our freedoms for safekeeping. Not now, not ever. With this letter, I hope I have made my views clear: Mr. True Believer the Cock Gobbler disregards any evidence that contradicts his views.