Hi, I'm Jane Doe and I'm dead.

[jane doe]

Love the death I'm in. Hope to rise above the underground idealisms, here.

[jane doe]

YouTube - Symphony of Science - 'We Are All...

[oneview]

Originally Posted by jane doe

Love the death I'm in. Hope to rise above the underground idealisms, here.

Can you explain what you mean by
you're dead and
maybe loving the death you're in
and what - underground idealisms
that you are looking at.

[jane doe]

Death is just that, death. It feels good to be dead. I died a year ago, I think, but it's all kinda foggy. Time escapes me.

Club Conspiracy is full of underground idealisms, like mine.

[jane doe]

YouTube - Modest Mouse - Missed the Boat

Laugh all the way to hell.*
My heart beat me to death.



*edit to add, this is one of the song lyrics.

[jane doe]

From my friend at oroborus forum

Hillman: Ikkyu, the crazy Japanese monk, has a poem:

You do this, you do that
You argue left, you argue right
You come down, you go up
This person says no, you say yes
Back and forth
You are happy
You are really happy

What he is saying is: Stop all that nonsense. You're really happy. Just stop for a minute and you'll realize you're happy just being. I think it's the pursuit that screws up happiness. If we drop the pursuit, it's right here.

[jane doe]

Opening my heart
Throwing out the past losses
Becoming myself.


11-16-08
Charging the red bull
Gets me caught up in despair
No surrendering.


11-16-07
Wind blows cooler now
Feeling refreshes my heart
Tighten up my lungs.

11-16-07
Prepare me for space
Shifting my heart into place
Relaxed me from fear.

12-08-07
The friends are hiding
Awaken and enlighten
Find them they are there.

[jane doe]

YouTube - Brandi Carlile - That Year

[jane doe]

Grant me the freedom to be different and cut me a little slack on the outside chance that I might know something.

[jane doe]

deleted.

Is this the hill I want to die on?