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Old 10-29-2005, 09:40 AM
rushdoony rushdoony is offline
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Default "I Want to Be a Mommy"

I Want to Be a Mommy

Andrea Schwartz » Bio
October 20, 2005

Very often when adults try to engage little girls in conversation, the questions that follow go something like this:

1. How old are you?

2. How do you like school?

3. What do you want to be when you grow up?

I recall a specific time when my youngest daughter was 8 years old. We were watching her older sister compete in a golf tournament and some adult volunteers, wanting to be friendly, asked this standard litany of questions. She responded a bit shyly but with a smile, “I want to be a mommy.” The grown-ups nodded with a bit of a smirk, discounted her answer as being amusingly immature, and responded, “But what do you really want to do? You know, in this day and age you really need to prepare for something more substantial than that. Girls need something to fall back on.”

This can be a dilemma for a girl who has been raised in a covenant, homeschooling family. From her perspective, Mommy does quite a lot. She teaches; she manages; she is the one who plans meals and establishes acceptable patterns of behavior. She often acts as the family medical assistant, nutritionist, social coordinator, etc. The depth of the answer, “I want to be a mommy,” if understood properly by the questioner, encompasses a desire to be someone who is dependably there to instruct, comfort, serve, and love her family. In fact, Proverbs 31 (which my girls memorized very early on in our homeschool curriculum) gives a job description that could easily leave one out of breath. How sad that our culture relegates it to the position of what you do as a female if you can’t do anything else!

I, myself, am repeatedly amazed at the capacity of homeschool moms. The homeschool choir Coram Deo Chorus, of which I am the founder and administrator, repeatedly provides me with wonderful examples:

One mother in our group has raised a family of her own (in fact she is a grandmother) and is currently homeschooling four Russian orphans whom she and her husband adopted more than a year ago. While many women in our culture use this time to “find themselves,” this mom is once again beginning the process of stewarding young lives ages 6–16 for the honor and glory of Jesus Christ.
Another mom is actively homeschooling her three children while finishing up her nursing degree and taking in other students to tutor in math. She is regularly involved in getting her children to their appropriate destinations for extracurricular activities while remaining present at many of them to ensure she knows and understands what they are involved in and with whom.
Then there is the homeschooling mom of six who held the position of music director for our choir for two years. This while managing the doctor visits and special therapy for her youngest, who has special needs. On top of having good students, she manages to have champion swimmers in her young entourage along with very capable violinists. All this while being a key member in her church’s music ministry and singing with a regional adult choir.
I could go on and on and never stray too far from the women I come in contact with on a regular basis. These women are not busy trying to fall back on anything. Rather, they are actively seeking the well-being of their household while their husbands are out providing for the financial needs of their families. True, some are more naturally gifted than others, but that is not my point. In these cases, and more I could enumerate, these women are utilizing all the education, training, and experience of their past as they pursue a calling that far surpasses a mere job.

It is fashionable today to deride the idea of preparing for being a wife and mother. However, the Biblical perspective is far different. When a woman gets her priorities in order — God, her husband, children, extended family, members of the body of Christ, and out into her community — she becomes a powerful force in the advancement of the Kingdom of God.

Mothers, recognize the privilege you have of rearing your daughters in a homeschool setting. Help them see the many facets of your job, and designate them as your assistants as you manage and run your home. From a very young age, give them tasks and responsibilities that are vital to the smooth running of your family life, letting them understand that you are training them for a vital and important role. I am not advocating the abandonment of academic subjects, but rather placing them in context and alongside practical tasks that foster the ability to produce a well-rounded person and manager.

By allowing your daughters to be ready to “take over the household” in your stead (should illness or other responsibilities make it necessary), you will be doing them a world of good by preparing them to be good wives to their future husbands and mothers to their children. You can accomplish this by giving them repeated opportunities to serve their father. (I have made it a standard practice that my girls are responsible to make their father’s lunch on a regular basis, make sure his clothes are ironed, and help prepare his dinner when he arrives late from work if we’ve already eaten.) Both Dad and Mom have to be willing to “live with the mistakes” (of which we’ve had our fair share) and praise the positive results in order to make this apprenticeship viable. Finally, incorporate volunteer and ministerial opportunities in your daily schedule. Be sure you “share your thinking” with your daughters as you make household, business, or other important decisions.

Truth be told, if given the opportunity to rearrange my life in any way I’d like, I would still want to be a mommy.

“...I realized I had to gain more knowledge to protect against evil and to protect myself from not becoming evil myself. This is our major goal in life...\" Terry Lee
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Old 10-29-2005, 10:44 AM
truebeliever truebeliever is offline
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Default Re: "I Want to Be a Mommy"

Could'nt agree more.

This is not a 'motherhood' statement...motherhood is the most importent job their is. A simple statement of a self evident fact.

It would help if males acknowledged this with actions as well as words.
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Old 10-29-2005, 02:10 PM
Shannow Shannow is offline
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Default Re: "I Want to Be a Mommy"

We are lucky in our family.

Due to circumstances beyond our control (read being screwed over by a bunch of people with a "unique set of morals"), my better half is essentially unemployable in the area.

So the decision for her to be a stay at home Mum was forced on us, and we didn't have to worry aboutbalancing work and family.

It's incredible how our kids are compared to those around us stuck in daycare all day...either it's being interacted with all day, or the lack of vaccinations.

It's so noticable, that the pressure is on her now to send the kids to daycare to "learn to socialise with new kids" (replace that with learn to be a bully, hit people, snatch, bite etc)
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Old 10-29-2005, 07:13 PM
igwt igwt is offline
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Default Report finds informal childcare harmful

Interesting article on child care. Recently read another online, that went into more detail regarding how children need to be with mothers until they are ready for broad social interaction, and that childcare was not helpful during these stages.

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Old 10-29-2005, 07:54 PM
truebeliever truebeliever is offline
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Default Re: Report finds informal childcare harmful

Childcare is an utter disgrace and i have nothing but contempt for the whole industry. I think it best that women simply have no children if they are to be regarded as a nuisence and working for more widgets prefered.

Women should be honest and admit that to a great degree they have kids out of guilt. Something to "get out of the way".

Little humans have come from far away and need to be kept close at ALL times during the first 6 months when they get a little confidence.

Children need to feel they are a joy and welcomed. We no longer welcome children. We are slaves to the state and children are nuisence to production values. Especially when theirs a giant third world pool of labour which will be pouring into our lovely Oz soon enough.

Their is a slight back lash against all this with alot of polls showing over %60 of women do not want to work at all and prefer homemaker.

Is'nt Dialectical Materialism wonderful! Theinevitablity of the market place and how we must bow down to it's awsome power and throw our kids on the scrap heap. And ourselves.

Fuck this system.
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Old 10-29-2005, 07:58 PM
truebeliever truebeliever is offline
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Default Re: Report finds informal childcare harmful

EDMUND ROY: Challenging is the operative word here. Recent research into some government-run childcare centres has found substantial evidence of negative effects on kids such as anxiety, non-compliance, aggression, sometimes even depression.

There’ve been findings too of early brain development in infancy leading to concerns about infants spending long hours in poor care.

Then there is the question of caretaker turnover which undermines claims that infants receive all essential continuity of care.

Clearly there are no simple answers, but whoever thought that childcare and the question surrounding it was an issue for the last century better start thinking again.

Oh really? Did that take a 2 million dollar study to work out?

You dont dump your kids with a bunch of strangers. Period.
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Old 10-29-2005, 07:55 PM
jason_ou812 jason_ou812 is offline
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Default Re: Report finds informal childcare harmful

I am fortunate enough to be the sole breadwinner for our family - my wife is *very* happy to be a stay-at-home-mum.

We have always sent our kids to daycare - starting from 3 - for 1 day a week, then 2 days a week. They are all born before June so they all started school at 4 1/2. We found that they needed the extra interaction that playing with other kids provided - at least that which could not be provided by cousins their own age (there were none) or the grandparents.

I think the role of the 'mum' is so undervalued in our society. Our kids are growing so fast that I adore each moment I can spend with them. I am fortunate to say that I feel sorry for those who are unable by choice to live as I do. I am perfectly OK with the 'one works one stays home with the kids' family that I have. I know lots of others choose (or are unable) to live this way, but for us, it works.
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