You write the following regarding Springsteen's PEDOPHILE song, "I'm on Fire."
I think that the only thing that redeems "Daddy" is that he comes home... with a bad desire. But there is a problem... while he was a way she met someone. "Is he good to you? Can he do to you the things that I do?" Which makes me wonder if the things that he did to her were actually as good as what he thought?? I wonder about his ego. Which leaves the unanswered question: Will she cool his desire or will she let him suffer and continue his ride on that Downbound Train.
Three fragmented memories of where WE met at motels/hotels after I was 18.
One may have been an apartment in South Miami, Florida.
No rape by three men.
Raped by HIM.
Not knowing where I was or how I arrived there.
Same with the other two scenarios.
One in Hollywood, Florida.
One in Grassy Key, Florida.
You can take that to the bank.
As I said.
Drugged, altered, amnesia, hypnosis.
Just as if I was still a victim.
The purpose was so that my core could not come front and center, but a personality which is not who I am would take over in the hope that I would destroy my life and/or engage in activities that could be used against me in the future for discrediting purposes.
Since this didn't happen, subsequent contact had to be made and the RAPE/picture disinformation planted.
The RAPE information speaks to another incident regarding my father of which I have not yet written.
This is how they BLACKMAIL and keep their politicians under their wings.
PICTURES, pictures, pictures.
The disinformation about three men in the room was so that I wouldn't remember it was him and believe that I partook in being gang banged of my own free will by men I had never met before while pictures were being taken.
Double vision from being drugged could have caused me to think there were three men.
After I was tortured and no longer a slave, I began to fight my way back into my core and reality; trying to heal, so that I could go forward against the government. I accomplished this for a short period of time, but then infiltration/contact was made to keep me from remaining in my core personality and WHO I AM.
Triggers are everywhere for mind control slaves when their CORE is not in tact and most of the time their core does not surface. Their core has been engulfed by other alters and very rarely comes front and center.
I had to learn to master this tactic as best I could so that I never lost sight of who I was and not what they wanted me to be and so that I was never completely under their control.
I believe there was a 4th time that contact was made.
This would have occurred shortly after I was married. My husband was out of town and a so-called friend wanted me to go out with her. We did. This would have occurred in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.
I was told that my husband was ONE OF THEM. He was gay, he cheated on me and that he was a pedophile who would abuse our children.
You see, I was to trust NO ONE, but I did and when I found the love of my life and was able to tell him I didn't remember my childhood and when he became familiar with my parents and my sisters, this concerned them.
To be in a loving relationship with someone to whom I could tell my darkest secrets is not what they wanted for me.
Alone, lost, destitute and homeless is what they preferred.
Or, a TRAMP because the programming they "instilled" and "called up" when contact was made was that I would have sex with anyone and anything. Strangers. Especially when under the influence of alcohol or drugs and when outside forces of which I was unaware could trigger BETA programming and alter me from my core!
I would be promiscuous.
Why would they want this?
It's about as useless as a two dollar bill.
It negates nothing!
Did they think that if I behaved in a way that was not WHO I AM due to their infiltration in my life, I would be ashamed to hold my head high?
I am not ashamed of my PAST!
They knew I was disinterested in having casual sex or SEX AT ALL when in my CORE after being sexually abused in the cult; my distrust for men and because this is WHO I AM.
They also knew I was able to counteract their attempts at making me enjoy their sexual abuse while in the cult by participating as if I were a dead fish.
They wanted a personality who would emerge and have sex with whomever she wanted; whenever she wanted, and I was instructed to have an orgasm when promiscuous, because this was something they said I would never have after I was no longer incarcerated since I refused it with them.
I guess they wanted me to enjoy sex and turn into some slut, or something, but I didn't.
They had minimal control over me.
My protectors had trained me well in that regard.
As if this would NEGATE their criminal acts upon me?
Did they want me pregnant by some stranger and/or spending my life with a loser?
I never satisfied my sexual partner and he never satisfied me.
So, the encounters are NULIFIED as acts that were conducted due to programming while not in my CORE; being altered, triggered, drugged, intercepted, infiltrated and acts that never brought about the desired result for the other party. You see, I never desired that result and waited until I was married.
Contact may have also been made shortly after I was married and disinformation implanted as to the activities of my children.
I have vague memories of telephone calls.
Remember, I really don't like to drink, but this is something they instilled while on Springsteen's official site, together with BETA programming.
I'm assuming in the hope that I would have an affair.
As if this would negate their criminal acts upon me while on Springsteen's site and in the past while a victm of MKULTRA/Project Monarch.
Do remember, though, that ManofPeace, on Springsteen's official site told me that he tried to warn me that my husband was one of them.
When would that have been?
In Ft. Lauderdale, Florida back in the 80's?
Last edited by Operative : 09-03-2008 at 01:38 PM.
Re-read the last post I made on this thread as I did some major editing.
Makin' peace with the past.
It wont' be long now!
It was a part of my life, but it's time for me to live in the present and look forward to the future.
HE is alive because of the evidence against HIM.
So, it's a double edged sword for him.
He went about his life believing I would never emerge, but with memories that came back to haunt him like a curse.
He enjoyed it while he could never knowing what the future might hold because I did not cease to exist.
He would have preferred it if I were dead; institutionalized so they could get their hands on me again or suicided after their attempts to cause a psychotic break while on his official site.
This did not come to fruition.
So, the question remains.
Would HE prefer NOW that he were dead rather than face what lies ahead for him in the very near future?
My husband saved my life and helped to bring me full circle, together with my guardian angels who left me with instructions ALWAYS to help me function the best I could in life after being traumatized; tortured, sexually, emotionally, mentally and psychologically abused.
My husband deserves a medal of honor and, so, too, do they.
My father attempted to deter my life the best he could, but he was not successful.
This, because of his injustices and the fear that THEY would kill our family if I remembered and began speaking out again.
Little did he know that our family is protected, too, because of me.
He's dead now, but he failed in his attempts to destroy me even when he was alive before I met my husband.
Last edited by Operative : 09-03-2008 at 08:35 PM.