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  #11  
Old 12-19-2009, 04:55 AM
mello..melliexo mello..melliexo is offline
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Default Re: I have suffered from depression and need to talk.


Quote:
Im manic deppresive wich means extreme highs and desperate lows.
The thing you need to remember is that although you feel like your alone in your thoughts. Many people out there feel exactly the same. Being different doesnt mean theres something wrong with you. It just means your more sensitive to the things most people let fly straight over there heads. While they walk around blind to the truth. You have to take on the responsiblity of dealing with it or it will drive you mad. A task which can seem overwhelming at times.

Just because you realize something that most would'nt. does'nt mean your paranoid however be careful who you share these with as they may see you that way.

Thats why sites like this are great because you can share things you've noticed or experienced with people who wont just laugh at and judge you, but instead. Offer some objective arguments as whether it could be true or not. There are some exceptions but just ignore the freaks.
i agree 100%

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  #12  
Old 12-19-2009, 01:39 PM
someone someone is offline
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Default Re: I have suffered from depression and need to talk.

I appreciate what your are saying and I have already seen my doctor and waiting to get a letter off a councellor regarding an appointment. I accept any negative comments on here and have only had one, have had very few comments altogether yet lots of people have read my post (which often happens). I got 2 positive ones also, one 2 lines and one a page or so which was a real surprise. Things got a bit on top of me and it would be nice to try to find like minds which is really difficult when you are studying conspiracy theories and are looking into stuff in this world on a more open level. Also, I try to take a step "out of the world" and try to look at it as it is and just ponder possibilities.

The fact that people have such conflicting opinions says alot, even with much research and information. Instead of just admitting well they are just that-opinions (options we think are right) and we shouldn't latch onto any particular one because who bloody knows-we know so little about our world and race etc. Just cos it fits in and thats how we feel which is often convenient and how we would prefer things were, not necessarily cos they are like that in reality.

Obviously conspiracy theories throw a spanner in the works and people are very reluctant to change an opinion especially when it has a negative aspect and challenges their view of the nature of reality etc. and is not in the majority of mind sets. I think THAT in itself says a lot about the intelligence of the human race. Its like not allowing yourself to think and reason properly. I'm not saying believe in it all, but people even seem to have a block even in just looking at the stuff. We are creatures of habit and very influenced by other people to the point of it not being helpfull in all kinds of situations, this seriously needs looked at, we could be so much more intelligent as a race. Anyway thanks again for your post it was a wise one.
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  #13  
Old 12-19-2009, 01:50 PM
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Default Re: I have suffered from depression and need to talk.

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I appreciate what your are saying and I have already seen my doctor and waiting to get a letter off a councellor regarding an appointment. I accept any negative comments on here and have only had one, have had very few comments altogether yet lots of people have read my post (which often happens). I got 2 positive ones also, one 2 lines and one a page or so which was a real surprise. Things got a bit on top of me and it would be nice to try to find like minds which is really difficult when you are studying conspiracy theories and are looking into stuff in this world on a more open level. Also, I try to take a step "out of the world" and try to look at it as it is and just ponder possibilities.

The fact that people have such conflicting opinions says alot, even with much research and information. Instead of just admitting well they are just that-opinions (options we think are right) and we shouldn't latch onto any particular one because who bloody knows-we know so little about our world and race etc. Just cos it fits in and thats how we feel which is often convenient and how we would prefer things were, not necessarily cos they are like that in reality.

Obviously conspiracy theories throw a spanner in the works and people are very reluctant to change an opinion especially when it has a negative aspect and challenges their view of the nature of reality etc. and is not in the majority of mind sets. I think THAT in itself says a lot about the intelligence of the human race. Its like not allowing yourself to think and reason properly. I'm not saying believe in it all, but people even seem to have a block even in just looking at the stuff. We are creatures of habit and very influenced by other people to the point of it not being helpfull in all kinds of situations, this seriously needs looked at, we could be so much more intelligent as a race. Anyway thanks again for your post it was a wise one.
Take a look at a series called "small Secrets" on youtube. It sounds like it could be right up your street. Sorry i havent included a link but im a bit pushed for time. Should be easy enough to find. It talks about Quantum Communication. Very interesting stuff. Im going to open a thread on it soon.
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  #14  
Old 12-19-2009, 03:03 PM
someone someone is offline
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Default Re: I have suffered from depression and need to talk.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mello..melliexo View Post
i agree 100%
Firstly I may have accidently sent a reply which was to someone elses comments about seeing doctor, a bit confused as Im new to all this internet communication!
My sister was diagnosed with manic depression, I always find it amazes me when I open up to people how it "seems to be a small world", synchronicity or whatever you call it. The amount of times my Mum and I have been talking or met someone and they or someone they know has suffered with similar difficulties.

Even when I was younger (early teens) I felt different and not on the same wavelength to most people. Suppose I just didn't find a platform to express myself freely where I could be respected and liked just for being me. For me its been a combination of things and I think the amount of people being (or claimed to being) abducted by aliens etc gave another possible reason for stuff I don't understand about myself. Like the mind sets I had and negative view of the world and the wasted years of just working, meditating and practicing healing and thinking that was the best I could do. Just being so narrow minded and so not achieving the very thing I set out to achive in the first place. Now I'm off the medication it's like I've had the wool taken off my eyes (unless it is purely coincidence, but to be honest it's the first time I have started to think more rationally and balanced -ever). Its like I am looking back on somebodies life that isn't mine. I am so angry that this has happened to me and now, in my early thirties I have had to deal with this "awakening", conspiracy theories and coming off medication all at once.

I now realise a lot of my difiiculties were self-inflicted, but having been to endless appointments with physchotherapists, councellors etc. there has been no identification of this. I now know it had a lot to do with how I thought and reacted to the world around me, which was really odd and had negative consequences- yet this was NOT from my childhood, reactions etc, believe me I have analised till Im blue in the face. I think they expected my parents divorce, my sister going in and out of mental hospitals to have had a negative effect when actually, I was very strong emotionally and dealt well with those issues and was very mature for my age. So basicaslly, I went to these appointments doomed as they basically were looking for a reason as to why I had problems when they were obviously NOT physchological reactions which were distorted (mental illness) and to be honest I haven't a bloody clue where it all came from as these "thoughts and feelings" towards others and the world around me had no basis from anywhere. Except they were strong and I didn't even recognise I had them at the time. I just wish they could have looked at my situation from a different angle and said well the way you feel towards yourself and other people needs to change or this isn't going to go away. Looking back it is so bloody obvious and I am so mad with these brainwashed people that go in there listening etc with their limited agendas when the whole point with anybody and therapy is RECOGNISING THE NEED THAT SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE, WHAT AND HOW, THE OBSTICALES etc. I just wanted to know why I felt differently and was so emotionally advanced for my age I became over analytical and it was like i was a sponge with feelings and also had lots of thoughts about things going on and strong emotions. Like I felt so much more about so much more which is where the mind washing conspiracy thing comes in again. Just a thought that I feel "rare" in that stuff I question and think about most people take for granted and can't even see. It's almost like I analyse stuff say an emotion about a situation but then I think, well hang on-what is the bloody point we are addicted to negative emotions which make us feel crap and a lot of the time we don't even realise this let alone try to do something about it. Why on earth as a species would we do something repetetively negative when it does not benefit us? Its like an obsession. To be honest if you think about it "non-mentally ill people" are mentally "ill" to a degree as they make themselves physically ill over addicitons to emotions. Anger, feeling helpless through not expressing things for example. But because most of us do it to some degree-it is normal. We are really quite thick with emotions and how we feel when you think how long we have been on the earth and how obvious a lot of humanities problems stem from this. One way I feel different to people is the fact I can even recognise this and that it is really odd that an intelligent race can be so unintelligent and unnecessarily so on so many levels. The fact that this isn't talked about and questioned in the media, or well anywhere really. etc. Well before I was aware of a possibility of aliens manipulating the human race, I felt something was not right that we are so brainwashed for thinking beings. Whether aliens are responsible is debatable, but that fact that people don't even recognise our "distorted development" as a race and recognise "aliens" even as a remote possibility is scary. As there is loads of eveidence to suggest aliens have already been with us wether or not they have or not, needs to at least be acknowledged.

In the meantime we need to learn from each other and be honest with ourselves which seems to much to ask for, yet makes logical sense. This is why I struggle to get on. I am a seeker, and want to know myself and the world we are in and try and make sense of it. Are many people really trying to achieve this honestly and sensibly or are they just painting their own picture of their own suitable reality which isn't going to achive a lot? This fact alone says alot about the human race and how illogical we are.

Sorry gone off on a rant again, better go Im just rattling.
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  #15  
Old 12-19-2009, 03:26 PM
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Default Re: I have suffered from depression and need to talk.

[quote=someone;63765]Firstly I may have accidently sent a reply which was to someone elses comments about seeing doctor, a bit confused as Im new to all this internet communication!
My sister was diagnosed with manic depression, I always find it amazes me when I open up to people how it "seems to be a small world", synchronicity or whatever you call it. The amount of times my Mum and I have been talking or met someone and they or someone they know has suffered with similar difficulties.

Even when I was younger (early teens) I felt different and not on the same wavelength to most people. Suppose I just didn't find a platform to express myself freely where I could be respected and liked just for being me. For me its been a combination of things and I think the amount of people being (or claimed to being) abducted by aliens etc gave another possible reason for stuff I don't understand about myself. Like the mind sets I had and negative view of the world and the wasted years of just working, meditating and practicing healing and thinking that was the best I could do. Just being so narrow minded and so not achieving the very thing I set out to achive in the first place. Now I'm off the medication it's like I've had the wool taken off my eyes (unless it is purely coincidence, but to be honest it's the first time I have started to think more rationally and balanced -ever). Its like I am looking back on somebodies life that isn't mine. I am so angry that this has happened to me and now, in my early thirties I have had to deal with this "awakening", conspiracy theories and coming off medication all at once.

I now realise a lot of my difiiculties were self-inflicted, but having been to endless appointments with physchotherapists, councellors etc. there has been no identification of this. I now know it had a lot to do with how I thought and reacted to the world around me, which was really odd and had negative consequences- yet this was NOT from my childhood, reactions etc, believe me I have analised till Im blue in the face. I think they expected my parents divorce, my sister going in and out of mental hospitals to have had a negative effect when actually, I was very strong emotionally and dealt well with those issues and was very mature for my age. So basicaslly, I went to these appointments doomed as they basically were looking for a reason as to why I had problems when they were obviously NOT physchological reactions which were distorted (mental illness) and to be honest I haven't a bloody clue where it all came from as these "thoughts and feelings" towards others and the world around me had no basis from anywhere. Except they were strong and I didn't even recognise I had them at the time. I just wish they could have looked at my situation from a different angle and said well the way you feel towards yourself and other people needs to change or this isn't going to go away. Looking back it is so bloody obvious and I am so mad with these brainwashed people that go in there listening etc with their limited agendas when the whole point with anybody and therapy is RECOGNISING THE NEED THAT SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE, WHAT AND HOW, THE OBSTICALES etc. I just wanted to know why I felt differently and was so emotionally advanced for my age I became over analytical and it was like i was a sponge with feelings and also had lots of thoughts about things going on and strong emotions. Like I felt so much more about so much more which is where the mind washing conspiracy thing comes in again. Just a thought that I feel "rare" in that stuff I question and think about most people take for granted and can't even see. It's almost like I analyse stuff say an emotion about a situation but then I think, well hang on-what is the bloody point we are addicted to negative emotions which make us feel crap and a lot of the time we don't even realise this let alone try to do something about it. Why on earth as a species would we do something repetetively negative when it does not benefit us? Its like an obsession. To be honest if you think about it "non-mentally ill people" are mentally "ill" to a degree as they make themselves physically ill over addicitons to emotions. Anger, feeling helpless through not expressing things for example. But because most of us do it to some degree-it is normal. We are really quite thick with emotions and how we feel when you think how long we have been on the earth and how obvious a lot of humanities problems stem from this. One way I feel different to people is the fact I can even recognise this and that it is really odd that an intelligent race can be so unintelligent and unnecessarily so on so many levels. The fact that this isn't talked about and questioned in the media, or well anywhere really. etc. Well before I was aware of a possibility of aliens manipulating the human race, I felt something was not right that we are so brainwashed for thinking beings. Whether aliens are responsible is debatable, but that fact that people don't even recognise our "distorted development" as a race and recognise "aliens" even as a remote possibility is scary. As there is loads of eveidence to suggest aliens have already been with us wether or not they have or not, needs to at least be acknowledged.

In the meantime we need to learn from each other and be honest with ourselves which seems to much to ask for, yet makes logical sense. This is why I struggle to get on. I am a seeker, and want to know myself and the world we are in and try and make sense of it. Are many people really trying to achieve this honestly and sensibly or are they just painting their own picture of their own suitable reality which isn't going to achive a lot? This fact alone says alot about the human race and how illogical we are.

Sorry gone off on a rant again, better go Im just rattling.[/quote

A lot of what you talk about is exactly what i go through when i get depressed. I find myself annalysing every aspect of who i am and why i do and say things and all my memories are now tainted by my obsesive search for answers. Even though im not sure what the question is. Theres a great saying. "Any fool can dig a hole" and its true. If you keep picking away pretty soon you'll unravell yourself to the point where you dont even recognize yourself anymore. I believe this is where many cases of split personality and schizophrenia merge from. You hate the person you are because you've annalysed every part of your being with a negative eye. Then you try to create a new you in the image who you wish you could be instead.

It sounds like a clieche but you have to learn to respect and at least try to like yourself again before you can begin to move forward. Our identity is what sets us apart from everyone else and if you dont know who you are then you come accross a wierd to everyone else. Theres no magic potion and psychology and psychiatry is all based on educated guesses. No one can understand the complexity of the mind or even begin to understand what motivates are thoughts.

Quantum Communication is the closest ive got to the burning questions i have about reality and the reason we exist in the first place. Take a look at that series i mention i think you will be enlighted a little.
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  #16  
Old 12-20-2009, 04:12 PM
mello..melliexo mello..melliexo is offline
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Default Re: I have suffered from depression and need to talk.

Ummm im short of time but i promise to address quantum communication a little later i have my suspicions, my mum has met David Wynn Miller and ill get some info from her before i address this but
Algebra i was wondering why it says in your name satan's servant? i went back to check and either youv changed it or im trippin ha never mind
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  #17  
Old 12-20-2009, 04:19 PM
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Default Re: I have suffered from depression and need to talk.

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Originally Posted by mello..melliexo View Post
Ummm im short of time but i promise to address quantum communication a little later i have my suspicions, my mum has met David Wynn Miller and ill get some info from her before i address this but
Algebra i was wondering why it says in your name satan's servant? i went back to check and either youv changed it or im trippin ha never mind
No your not tripping i changed to piss public enemy no 1 off. Read some of his posts and you'll see why. Hope you take a look at quantum communication its fascinating stuff. After seeing it i felt like id found the missing link. The thing ive been searching for this whole time.

Laterz.
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  #18  
Old 12-29-2009, 05:47 AM
Truthbetold Truthbetold is offline
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Default Re: I have suffered from depression and need to talk.

hi someone, hope your still checking this topic.

I too have had the feelings of feeling different than other people all of my life.
the ignorance of most people is sickening.
Two months ago i was diagnosed with ADHD and while the medication (ritalin) took care of the chaos, it made my mind go totallly numb.

Why is it that western medicine fixes the syptoms, but never the cause. I discussed it with my doctor but he laughed at it.

But I have used hypnotism and chi channeling and it working wonders. So regardless of you believe that stuff it works for me, and thats enough.

For finding more knowledge.., I suggest to look on the torrent networks for occult stuff. (if you're afraid of it, remember that knowing something isnt the same as pratiscing something.

And please keep and open mind, but i dont think you have any difficulty with that
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  #19  
Old 12-29-2009, 05:59 PM
BlueAngel BlueAngel is offline
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Default Re: I have suffered from depression and need to talk.

Everyone suffers from depression now and again.

It's normal.

You're not different than anyone.

It's just that few people talk about it openly so you think you are the only one.

You just need to give yourself a good kick in the ar*e cause life is worth living.

Every minute of it.

Look around at the beauty in the world irregardless of the BS they want you to see and become entrapped in.

The sky, the moon, the stars.

They exist and they are beautiful.

The mountains, the trees, the rivers, the lakes.

The oceans, the night and day break.

The sun shining on your face.

It's all beautiful.

Just let your eyes SEE the beauty and hold this beauty in your heart.

It will overcome the ache.

Hope you're feeling better.


Last edited by BlueAngel : 12-29-2009 at 06:08 PM.
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  #20  
Old 12-30-2009, 03:47 AM
albie albie is offline
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Default Re: I have suffered from depression and need to talk.

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Obviously conspiracy theories throw a spanner in the works and people are very reluctant to change an opinion especially when it has a negative aspect and challenges their view of the nature of reality etc. and is not in the majority of mind sets. I think THAT in itself says a lot about the intelligence of the human race. Its like not allowing yourself to think and reason properly. I'm not saying believe in it all, but people even seem to have a block even in just looking at the stuff. We are creatures of habit and very influenced by other people to the point of it not being helpfull in all kinds of situations, this seriously needs looked at, we could be so much more intelligent as a race. Anyway thanks again for your post it was a wise one.
The block comes when you read unreliable evidence of conspiracy theory. I was a conspiracy believer until I started looking into it. I see 90% of you guys still believing in stuff that has been shown to be BS. So you have to take some blame for the closed mind set of the general public: who you have to convince for your theories to matter.
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