I must be the most important human being ever to exist, because some sort of higher power is doing everything it can to make my life a living hell.
When I say I'm human I'm probably wrong, I think that maybe I am a different race to everyone else, because everyone else's life is so perfect, and this does not vary from person to person. Therefore being "human" is to have a perfect in every way life... which is the polar opposite to mine. Humans posess the ability to teleport themselves and objects short distances (to shunt themselves around in queues and to grab things before I can etc etc). Humans tap into the Great Social Psychic Kollektive in order to know each other's thoughts and feelings, hence no-one ever has a failed relationship other than me. This is because they all know instantly what other's feel about them (never negative emotions as humans are so far removed from anything short of heaven than they cannot comprehend negative emotions). To a human, imagining suffering is like imagining a 4 sides triangle. Human is like the opposite of pain. The adverts you see on TV about poor children in Africa or homeless people is propaganda released by this higher power in order to give the impression people other than me ever suffer, but the truth is they are all wealthy, powerful people, just like you, and just like everyone other than me. Human mating rituals are interesting. Normal proceedure is for the male to drug the female, through weed or alchohol or other means, rape her and abandon her. Females love this, hence why "battered" wives never leave their husbands. There's nothing a whore (female) loves more than to settle down with some drunkard who'll punch her in the face, as long as he gets her drunk and buys her things. Access to alcohol (money), physical power (beating her up every night) and good looks are the only things whores (women) look for.
The higher power has the ability to perform minor manipulations of time and space to make my life hell... such as increasing the pressure in a soda bottle so it'll explode when I open it, no matter how still it is. It can also teleport a wall in front of doors and teleport it out again quick enough for me to walk into it but also so that no-one else sees it. As it is clearly a powerful entity, it taps into the Great Social Kollektive and psychically commands it's legions of brainless morons (humans) to despise me on sight. Random attacks in the street are common. I have been analysing this entity since I was born and have learned much about humans and it. It seems that what makes humans lives so perfect must be some sort of gene or device... which I lack... making me non-human. I have grown up without this and have learned to struggle through life without the crutch of perfection. Can you imagine? My every wish is not fulfilled and I have to put actual effort into achieving things, while simultaniously competeing with both humans and the entitity that is bent of my destruction. I'm fighting every single one of you and also a god or diety, yet I have lived for 20 years. I know why this entity despises me. I am living proof that that which humans posess to make their life perfect is not neccessary to life. I am a living billboard of freedom from The Kollektive. I make you feel uncomfortable when I'm near. When I pass by you in the street, you want to kill me. You despise everything I stand for - freedom from society. Operatives come to subtly undermine my life. But I have lived through all their attempts. They are usually successful at making me miserable, but all attempts on my life have failed. They have tried to drive me to suicide but my rage and hate for humanity and it's mysterious benefactors drives me forward.
I was the same as you when I was about 14, only difference is that throughout my entire life, I have never been attacked, people have always feared me as most people fear the unknown. Guess its just my energy vibes. Doesnít make sense to me though, cause I look very normal (minus my messy out-of-bed hair).
I despise the human race too, as a whole, but there are many amazing individuals who are lost in the fray. I donít hate you; (this may sound weird) I love you, just as I love everybody else, even if you arenít human! But still, you donít get my sympathy, because you can help yourself. Believe me, girls can really mess you around, but as soon as you stop NEEDING things from the external world, youíll be able to cope with all the letdowns. Pleas use your brain, because I donít think you are stupid at all, just extremely confused. Do you really think a god would waste its time pestering your ass 24/7? Hahah no. Itís a demon, and you have let it into your mind (evidently a long time ago). Try to locate the bastard, and tell it to get out.
You are impending this curse upon yourself. Donít focus on your misfortune, and it will go away. Try it before you dismiss it.
By the way, your perception of people is way out of the window. Seems like youíve been living in a nightclub your whole life. Get out more, and stop expecting things from people. Most people you will meet are pretty stupid, but donít hate them, because they really donít know any better.
At 20 years old, you need to get your head strait as soon as possible.
your post is very interesting, i think what you feel is felt by many people at some point of their lives, some move on and some stick with the pain.
The lucky who can cross this black hole is the one who recognizes who is really after him, it is none but Satan himself, for all i know God wants you to be the best creature in the universe, but he shows you both ways and you are the one who is to choose.
See, it is a continous struggle, Satan (and his invisible and visible agents) will always try to put you down and make you feel unworthy, abnormal sort of being, which is not true, God loves you when you are your Self, not somebody else's self.
You don't have to fit and adapt to the society either, let them adapt to you!. Evereyone of us is a unique individual who has the God-given ability of changing himself and making a difference in this world, however most of us see it easier to follow the majority.
You have to realize that Satan has no real power, his power is only in your mind, so if you think he has power to harm you...he will, but he can't if you realize that only God has the real power.
[2:112] Indeed, those who submit themselves absolutely to GOD alone, while leading a righteous life, will receive their recompense from their Lord; they have nothing to fear, nor will they grieve.
Ahmad, you are truly an encouragement! There are all kinds of things that can destabilize and cause one to be more vulnerable emotionally, or to distort one's perceptions. Reduction of testosterone levels in men is just one thing that can cause similar symptoms.
I have been accosted by some of those spirits before; if you don't play along with them, they abuse you verbally and attack your weaknesses: guilt, shame, unresolved trauma, etc. They can also impersonate relatives or friends. The best defense is to know who loves you and how much. God bless, brothers! :-)