Re: The Computer is SATAN\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Something quite strange occured in late 2003. I was drawn back into the "cult." Please understand that when I use the word "cult," I am not referencing a moral "group of people." I am speaking about the "satanic cult."
There was an operation to attract me and it worked.
I had, prior to this time, awoken to the reality of my past shortly after 911. Although, there were break-through memories of abuse occuring most of my life, on and off.
In 1995, I was exposed to a male doctor who in some way, shape or form seemed to "trigger" me into a state of depression through emotional abuse. When I look back on it now, it was similar to how I was treated in the "cult." Oddly, enough, the voices of my programmers from the past surfaced. I worked my way through it and continued with my life.
There is more to the story than this, but not as important as the prior.
I began writing on Indymedia before I was attracted back to the "cult" in early 2004, and came in contact with someone who put me in contact with another individual. He and I communicated privately (well, not so, because I'm sure nothing I do is private) through email and he was able to help me in many ways with my new found knowledge.
So, the media's attention to a particular statement made by someone within the music industry drew me to his website.
I was placed in altered states of consciousness, and those who were knowledgable about my past, abusers/handlers, or even newcomers were able to control me by insinuating that they KNEW me, had protected me all of my life. They were the reason I was alive and that this particular musician and I were witnesses to government abuse. In order to keep us apart, in my young teenage life, it was implied that I was institutionalized and all memories of him had been erased.
Because it has always been my contention that there were "others" working behind the scenes to expose our government and that they knew of me and my role on the "inside" when I was young, and the "suggestible" state of mind which I was placed in, they were able to make me a prisioner again of emotional, psychological, mental abuse. I was being "controlled" again. I was not who I was when I entered the site.
I went through days of lying in bed crying, reliving false memories which they called up and I assume had been implanted in the past. The torture that I endured when I was young resurfaced as well. I was unable to eat for days. I went onto the site and when I asked for permission to eat, it was granted.
I was fed disinformation, lies and manipulated. The depths of despair and isolation I found myself in are indescribable. My sexual programming was triggered and for this I can only feel disgust at them and not myself. I felt disconnected to my family, to my friends, to life.
I left the site in December of 2004 and it has taken me two years to rid myself of their infection.
Traumatization in the form of emotional, psychological and mental abuse by handlers/controllers can be horrendous, especially if you are a mind control victim, and the effect can be the neutralization and containment of one. I'm sure an operation similar to this one occured in the past.
During this time, my family tried to make me see that I was not being helped, only hurt. That the attempt was to make me look crazy. That the attempt was to make me look obsessed with this musician. When reality set in, I couldn't agree more.
One does not have to be placed back into the "cult" to become free.
I had been instructed in the past as to what would occur and those instructions guided me back to freedom.