As a new forum member - I have a question about something I have been unable to find through the search mechanism, though it has undoubtably been covered somewhere at some point in time.
A brief personal history:
I was born to a military family (USAF)in 1974 and my father worked in a classified position, my early childhood was full of verbal violence and double standards - I became introverted and quietly observant as a result of it, as well as having a stark contrast of a dual personality (quiet and reserved on one hand, but prone to outbursts of controlling and exhibitionist behavior on the other). I excelled in school but shyed away from the majority of my schoolmates - mainly because "civilian schools" were so chaotic as opposed to schools on base.
In 1995 I became obsessed with traveling, and ended up backpacking across the United States where I encountered a way of life that suited every aspect of my life - physical, spiritual, mental - and did quite well for myself on several fronts.
I hung around the LSD drug culture almost exclusively (for some reason, a voice in the back of my head kept telling me I was "monitoring them") and it was not uncommon to be "aware" of being watched by various remote agents (most of the kids were paranoid and because of my military upbringing, I would always talk them down out of their delusions of Big Brother and even go so far as to wave to the Feds they claimed were tracking them). It was all very lighthearted, and nothing was too malicious about these encounters. Everyone was very open and friendly (including our observers) and many ideas were discussed and many freedoms of thought were shared during these times.
In 1997 I became obsessed with moving to Seattle, and did so with little more than a backpack and a guitar and somehow managed to make ends meet and establish residency.
Soon after I began living there, I began hearing voices. They told me to "come join them", and I would leave my apartment and venture into the nightlife district, where I was "guided" through what I can only describe as a telepathic means of communication to various locations, meetings and gatherings.
All fared well - my creativity was at a high point and I was learning new skills everyday - there was purpose in my life, and every step lead to new and interesting discoveries on a variety of subjects.
I found myself falling into trance states and acting almost robotically to subconcious prompts on several occassions.
One evening, in one of these traces I gathered up every piece of writing I had accumulated over 5 years, placed it all in a black garbage bag and walked it out to the curb at 1am. I stood several feet away from the "dropoff" and saw a black car with tinted windows pull up with only a red light visible in the dash console, and heard a voice in my head say "get in".
I told them (mentally) there was no chance in hell I was getting into a car with an unknown person, and returned indoors.
I was called out on several occassions after that, but never again saw a vehicle of any sort, or any "source" for these prompts.
In 2002, I had been without this type of activity for a good year when suddenly, out of nowhere, I hear a male voice in my head say "LEAVE". Within 45 minutes I had closed my affairs with my housemates, was packed, and on the road back to Texas.
While in Texas, I recieved electronic harrassment and was besieged by voices and "experiences" I cannot quite explain on an almost continual basis - from being watched, to being telepathically assaulted and acting like a drone on autopilot.
I am now living in a small town in a remote location - with a minimal of harrassment aside from a very negative "feel" to the place, excessive lethargy (I sleep almost 18 hours a day) and am unable to interact socially in the community I have found myself in.
I have had several unexplainable episodes ranging from the voices, to direct prompts to "leave" (I am unable to do so at this point in time for various reasons otherwise I would) and when I do not comply, the voices become hostile.
I am cut off from any positive reinforcement outside of my family and one close friend. The mental landscape is hostile and whenever I do hear voices they are rude, arrogant and profoundly ignorant.
My Father and I rarely communicate and even though he is retired, his phone is still monitored and he will not discuss this matter with me.
MY QUESTIONS ARE THESE:
Am I a MONARCH child?
Does any of this fall in line with tactics of control and punishment? Did I screw up somewhere, or was there just a regime change?
Is there anything I can do in my current environment besides sleep, save for the move, and wait?
ANY CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK WOULD BE APPRECIATED, AND I WILL BE HAPPY TO PROVIDE ADDITIONAL DETAILS IF NEEDED.
(sorry to jump in so hard and fast, folks...but this is really weighing heavily on my mind right now)
My assumption here is that coming from a military family that you received your vaccinations from a military hospital. Does the name Lot 6 have amy relevance for you? If it does PM me for private conversation on this matter. No reason to bother others with things like this.
Where do you think Stephen King got the nomenclature Lot 6 from? I'm not joking about Lot 6 by the way. See if you still have your old shot records and look. It was on mine.
This happened back in 1982 when 10 of us were pulled aside from a training group and told we had to get another immunization. Something about missing an important one. After I got my shot record back it was stamped Lot 6. I asked about it and the medic said he wasn't sure what it was. I pursued finding out over a period of 20 years until I was finally told to stop asking about it by a military doctor of considerable rank. Some time after that my military shot records were "lost" from my medical file.
I kept track of two of the guys that received Lot 6 and they have similar symptoms that I just posted.
I have never has a cold or the flu from that time forward. I did suffer from insomnia though from that point onward.
I'll add a little bit: the psychological stuff, commands, suggestions, and negative reinforcement when you "disobey" (good for you!!) are all standard conditioning types used in experiments by a few of the three-letter agencies as well as private groups such as occult-based organizations.
Being from a military family could have at one time put you in the queue for experimentation some time in your past.
Also consider that mass media regularly use subliminal audio and visual material which can "bubble up" from the subconscious and produce hallucinations, etc.
What you experience now could be abreactions, "flashbacks" to those times, so try a little exercise in telling the difference between external and internal stimuli.
Let me know if you want to hear more; I had some people try similar things on me in the past.
This is interesting and informative - thank you, everyone. Every bit of information helps me put all thisinto a proper perspective.
My military records are somewhere in storage, according to my mother. I'll ask if she can find them when things aren't so hectic for her.
I rarely watch television, it gives me headaches and dumps a load of unwanted psychic garbage on me -except for [adult swim] - which I can tolerate, lol.
And even though it was intended as an insult - the "jewry" statement makes a point in an of itself.
There has been a very strong German presence running through this entire experience, and I'm not talking about anti-semitism.
I'm talking more about reading the proper books, keeping the mind sharp and the body strong, working towards something "greater" and "higher" than the standard that is washed over the majority of the masses. Becoming the best person possible and striving for the highest human ideals.
There has been no talk (or prompt) of Anti-Semitism, although I have a strong hatred of hyper-consumerism. I own two guitars, a laptop, a backpack, an old 1940's typewriter, two footlockers full of symbollic "trophies" I kept from my time on the road (I call them my "spoils of war"), two sets of boots, one pair of sandals and a few clothes...and I don't have need (or want) of much else.
It you want some funny experiences that happened to me in Seattle regarding the "SS" and the "game" that I was a member of the "youth fighting on the front" I'd be more than happy to discuss this with you in private message.
I'm not going to play off like all of this has been fun and games, though - there have been intense moments with this line of prompting in the past - but seeing as I'm female, I think they've been rather lienient with me.
It's just reaffirming knowing there are other people out there who can relate or understand.
Things aren't as clear as they used to be, and I'm no longer "in the loop" so to speak. I'm currently stuck in a small town in one of the most poorly educated states in the Union and there is no one I can talk to about this in the area.
Since I've moved here, the ideology has gone from Germanic ideals of excellence to outright hate, distrust and contempt for anything different, and it's been very difficult trying to deal with whatever locals are in on this whole thing.
If there is anything else I can volunteer - please do not hesitate to ask.
A quick warning about tor; he is obviously a tool of the government. He has continually worked to kill any discussion of "sensitive" topics... AFTER he trapped the person into revealing personal information. He has been pestering me for personal information but I am still safely hiding behind this proxy. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT give tor any personal information or you may have unwanted govt visitors show up at your residence.