Well, folks, now that my memories have catapulted me back to the man in the mask, I must continue.
But, before I do, when I was reporting to my protectors, the grotesque sexual acts that they subjected me to were so humiliating, degrading, etc., that I had a difficult time repeating them. But, I did. I could tell them because, as they said, they did not think any less of me. They knew it was forced upon me.
The money under the bed was most probably just a cover. They needed this, because the razor blades were under the bed. What were they going to say, my younger sister was a cleptomanic and stole razor blades.
I don't believe my older sister was offered money. As I just said, it was a tatic in order to account for the razor blades.
My parents most probably went out and knew what would ensue. They were sick people. Remember, as long as I was alive, they would live their lives in fear. I had broken the "Code of Silence" that Springsteen lives by. That they all live by. They would rather I be dead, so they would not be worried about themselves, my other sisters. Sacrifice, yes.
The man is wearing a stocking on his face. Not sure, but I think by gunpoint my sister was forced to reach under the bed and get the razor blades. She was threatened if she didn't.
She was forced to do what she did to me. It was my right wrist and I am right-handed.
She was told to leave me bleeding. Leave me for dead when he left. Not to make a move cause he might come back.
I see myself crawling to the front door and onto the sidewalk. At this point, I think my sister ran to our neighbor for help.
Of course, no one expected me to survive and remember the "trademark" boots. I couldn't describe him because he had a stocking on his face, but I knew it was him.
Afterwards, I was probably institutionalized for being suicidal. As I continued to protest this, I was met with rejection of course, by my parents because if I implicated my sister they would take her away. Split up the family. I couldn't prove that someone else was there and she would never talk about it.
I wrote the following lines several years ago:
Someone tried to kill me
still today I do not know
the CIA and mind control
It wasn't an alter. I remember talking to my father after being "sent away" as a threat to myself. He would say, "let the doctors help you" and I would say, "I didn't do it."
Why wouldn't my sister corroborate the man in the mask?
Dark weekends in the sun out on Chelsea Road
Descending the stairs, Frankie, my one
Check your makeup in the mirror c'mon babe let's go
We'll dance 'round this dirty town 'til the night is all done
Let all the finer things sleep alone tonight
Let all the minor kings lose their thrones tonight
Don't worry about us, baby, we'll be alright
Well everybody's dying, this town's closing down
They're all sittin' down at the courthouse waiting for 'em to take the flag down
I see strange flashes in the sky up above
Gonna spend the night at the drive-in with the one that I love
At dusk the stars all appear on the screen
Yeah, just like they do each night in my dreams
But tonight's no dream, Frankie, I can feel myself too
Well now and forever my love is for you
Walk softly tonight little stranger
Yeah into these shadows we're passing through
Talk softly tonight, little angel
You make all my dream worlds come true
Well lately I've been standing out in the freezing rain
Readin' them want ads out on Chelsea Road
I'm winging down the street in search of new games
Hustling through these nightlights' diamond glow
Well Frankie I don't know what I'm gonna find
Maybe nothing at all, maybe a world I can call mine
Shining like these streetlights down here on the strand
Bright as the rain in the palm of your hand
Walk softly tonight, little stranger
Into the shadows where lovers go
Talk softly to me, little angel
What is the female proper name for the nickname, Frankie?
Sleepy town ain't got the guts to budge
Baby, this emptiness has already been judged
I wanna go out tonight, I wanna find out what I got
You're a strange part of me, you're a preacher's girl
And I don't want no piece of this mechanical world
Got my arms open wide and my blood is running hot
We'll take the midnight road right to the devil's door
And even the white angels of Eden with their flamin' swords
Won't be able to stop us from hitting town in this dirty old Ford
Well it don't take no nerve when you got nothing to guard
I got tombstones in my eyes and I'm running real hard
My baby was a lover and the world just blew her away
Once they tried to steal my heart, beat it right outta my head
But baby they didn't know that I was born dead
I am the iceman, fighting for the right to live
I say better than the glory roads of heaven better off riding
Hellbound in the dirt, better than the bright lines of the freeway
Better than the shadows of your daddy's church
Baby, better off is the Search
Why would anyone want to hear this song live or otherwise.
She drew out all her money from the Southern Trust
And put her little boy on a Greyhound Bus
Leaving Memphis with a guitar in his hand
On a one-way ticket to the promised land
Hey little girl with the red dress on
There's party tonight down in Memphis down
I'll be going down there if you need a ride
The man on the radio says Elvis Presley's died
We drove down into Memphis, the sky was hard and black
Up over the ridge came a white Cadillac
They'd drawn out all his money and they laid him in the back
A woman cried from the roadside "Ah he's gone, he's gone"
They found him slumped up against the drain
With a whole lot of trouble running through his veins
You didn't have to die
How many people are in this song?
Him, a "little girl" with a red dress on, she who put the little boy on the greyhound bus, the guy leaving Memphis with the guitar in his hand.
Do you still say your prayers darlin' do you go to bed at night
Prayin' that tomorrow, everything will be alright
But tommorow's fall in number, yeah, in number one by one
You wake up and you're dying, you don't even know what from
Well they shot you point blank, you been shot in the back
Baby point blank you been fooled this time little girl that's a fact
Yeah, right between the eyes, baby, point blank
Right between the pretty lies little girl you fell
You grew up where young girls they grow up fast
You took what you were handed and left behind what was asked
But what they asked baby wasn't right
You didn't have to live that life,
I was gonna be your Romeo you were gonna be my Juliet
These days you don't wait on Romeo's you wait on that welfare check
And on all the pretty things that you can't ever have
And on all the promises that always end up...
Point blank, shot between the eyes
Baby, point blank like all the little white lies you tell yourself to ease the pain
You're walkin' in the sights, girl of point blank
And it's one false move and baby the lights go out
Once I dreamed we were together again, yeah, baby you and me
Back home in those old clubs the way we used to be
We were standin' at the bar, it was hard to hear
The band was playin' loud and you were shoutin' somethin' in my ear
You pulled my jacket off and as the drummer counted four
You grabbed my hand and pulled me out on the floor
First you just stood there and then we started dancin' slow
And as I pulled you tighter I swore I'd never let you go
Well I saw you last night down on the avenue
Your face was in the shadows but it was you
You were standin' in the doorway out of the rain
You didn't answer when I called out your name
You just turned, and then you looked away
Like just another stranger waitin' to get blown away
Point blank, right between the eyes
Baby, point blank, right between the pretty lies you fell
Point blank, you been shot straight through the heart
Baby, point blank,
You've been twisted up till you've become just another part of it
Point blank, shot straight through the heart
Baby, point blank, you've been twisted up...
Baby, point blank, you been shot straight through the heart
You've been shot straight through the heart
Baby point blank walkin' in their sites
Point blank, just one false move Baby the lights go out.
When I was just a "little girl"
I watched real proud the flag unfurl
patriotic to the core
blessed by men who had the key
to let me soar and set me free
from the ties that bound
my soul in hell
they held me up when I thought I'd fall
the helped me scrape
they helped me crawl
up from the pits of Satan's spell
they watched me scream
they heard me yell
when I told them of their "dirty deeds"
they sowed my garden
they planted seeds
they told me what I had to do
they guided me
they took my hand
they trained me for the task at hand
these men of whom I speak to you
were moral, wise and never cruel
if not for them I would not speak
if not for them I would not seek
the justice that must yet be served
for what they did to this "little girl"
The light I shine is not just for me
it's for all of us
the one's you cannot see
those snuffed out at Bohemia Grove
thrown from the train
when they were too old
The light I shine is not just for me
it's for all of us
the one's you cannot see
their souls forsaken will not be in vain
because, GOD, you know works in mysterious ways