At one point, while on HIS site, in the beginning when I was steadily being controlled, but they weren't achieving the results they desired, we were conversing via email and I was being referred to as Wendy. I was running into a block. He wasn't happy so the name was said over and over again. It wasn't producing whatever results he desired which was most likely the child-like Beta slave. So, he proceeded onto the site to involve his cohorts in some mission.
I believe he was my main controller/handler, but I was difficult to control so there were several others. They may have been musicians also. There are two others who have always been in the "back of my head."
One email said, "Wendy, I don't want to ever leave you alone again and to not be afraid of your past.
Well, this statement had somewhat of an opposite effect in that I wasn't really feeling alone until I was sucked deep into their world and almost completely out of reality and out of touch with my family and friends. So, basically, when he was there and then gone; one person one minute; another the next, I was feeling very ALONE and this is what they wanted. Complete dependency on HIM being there to fulfill the lonely void I was experiencing due to my isolation. But, HIM being there was predicated by my not having intimacy with my husband and behaving/obeying. So the emotional stress was building. Disconnected from family and friends and then him being there one minute and then not the next.
So, what HE really wanted for me in the past and present, since he would never be there, was to be alone; was to leave me trapped in an altered state; out of touch with family, friends and reality.
I also wasn't really afraid of my past until that was suggested. I was becomming afraid because of my transformation and the seclusion from family and friends; the feeling of being disconnected from reality. All the while thinking they held the KEYS to my past. Instead, they held the keys to my programming.
I received an email with the programming levels asking if they helped to jog my memory. Assuming this was intended to refresh my memory of BETA programming. There was no elaboration/explanation.
After receiving an email saying, "I love you, now what? the next morning I received an email saying it wasn't really him I was conversing with, it was someone named Beautiful Joseph and that he became interested in me from the site.
All this really did is provoke implanted memories of a baby I may have had named Joseph. Not sure if one of the Nazi doctors was was referred to as Beautiful Joseph or not.
So, the pictures I emailed to HIM are now in Beautiful Joseph's possession supposedly. I ask him what he is going to do with them and he says that he has them on his wall. This is becomming so strange, as you can imagine, in an altered state, I am an emotional wreck. Being jerked around like a marionette.
Now, he's back again but not as Beautiful Joseph. We're conversing via email.
A day or so later, I receive an email telling me to go back to my husband that he could never make me happy. Something about the past getting in the way.
Some of these emails disappeared from my mailbox.
When HE first emailed me, he said, "I could tell him anything, but I couldn't trust him." I'm sure this is so I wouldn't think it was him.
But, it was.
Also, he mentioned something about the GOONS. Perhaps to stir up memories of the torture that I seemed to relive for weeks.
Of course these individuals have insecurities and such, but rather show compassion than mockery - as we are all essentially on the same boat.
It would be like laughing at a tiger in a bear trap. Let us not be filled with this heartlessness. Although it can be a challenge, we must always be at our zenith - where the air is pure, and the view is unbroken and unremitting.
Who are you talking to?
I would certainly hope it would be one or more of the perverse posters on this site and that would not include IGWT or myself.
FYI, you might be on the boat with them, but I jumped overboard a long time ago.
P.S. I have no "Sympathy for the Devil."
Do as you say, LaDomino. Let's see you show compassion for these posters whom you claim have insecurities.
You've got to be kidding me. This isn't a mental health site. If they have problems, that's where they should be.
You know, same logic as others who have posted on this board.
Show ABUSERS compassion.
I'm not the victim of a mind control program where this is standard practice and something one is forced to do!
Respect those who show only disrespect. Who refer to me as a cunt and a bitch.
I would HOPE there are more people in this world/country who care about the "secrets" our government harbors and the atrocities they inflict around the globe than those who care about this "nothing man."