Women lack the moral strength to lead society or the family.
What Men Know That Women Don't
Here's what some people have to say about it:
"If you only read one book this year make it WHAT MEN KNOW THAT WOMEN DON'T. " -- J. Steven Svoboda, Ph.D. Harvard, human rights lawyer and Executive Director of Attorneys for the Rights of the Child
"What I really liked about the book is that it made me feel 'confided in'. I felt like someone had finally taken me aside and given me the low-down. All the things that women would never admit to themselves, all the things that the men in my life wouldn't tell me cause they were too pussy-whipped or scared of women, all the things that the authors wouldn't say because they were too politically correct or intellectual or afraid of not selling books. Like an uncle I never had. I felt 'confided in'. For lack of a better word you had 'balls' enough to write it. Thanks again."
Today I started reading your book Surviving the Feminization of America. (now updated as: WHAT MEN KNOW THAT WOMEN DON'T. ) Thank you for writing it. I have just come out of a season where I realized how I hurt my husband. I was selfish and demeaning, and all the while didn't bother to sincerely apologize for it. To change things, I spent several years getting to know him and understand him and let go of the relentless control I had on him. Most of all, I finally found myself.
He's a saint (and for putting up with me, doubly so)! What a terrible thing I did, I emasculated him with everything I did. God have mercy on me!
I will do anything I can to reach women and teach them how to find their place in society. I've been researching and I found your book at the library in Davisburg, Michigan. It's what I was looking for. I need your ideas desperately to put together my seminars. Thank you so much! I will keep in touch with you regarding my mission. Women have been given so much power and they use it so recklessly, since the Garden of Eden, they've used it for evil. And men sat by and let it happen.
I want everything you've written. And I'm so glad you don't pull any punches in your book. You are a blessing.
"There's a lot of anger in it, right? Well that was a big part of the value in it for me. I've had so much anger locked up inside because of the injustices men have subjected themselves to that I've never given myself permission to think -- let alone to feel. And so it's come out sideways, unconsciously, in my relationships with women... I'm not done with my anger at all, but your book helped me become aware of where it was, gave me permission to feel it, and broke up big chunks of it that can be worked through...Another high-minded, politically correct book would never have helped me get through that phase. I'd have stayed stuck. It ain't pretty, but it's necessary. And women have been given plenty of permission to feel their anger (at men) if you ask me."
Also Michael Hickman
(This time from Mission Viejo, Belize)
Hi. I just read your book "What Men Know that Women Don't" and I want to thank you for having the courage to think deeply about these issues and for sharing your point of view with the world. I'm a twenty-three year-old (American-born) film-maker/writer/actor, living in Paris. I am also an English teacher, but I realize that the difficulty I have in teaching is that I don't want to discipline and tame the children the way the women are so pleased to do. I didn't want to even admit that the mostly female teaching profession might be enforcing negative ideas into the males in the classes, but you make it so clear, I don't have to be afraid to say so any more!
I was fascinated how convincingly you turned the tables 180° [on gender perceptions]. But now I see it all around me. My Dad who got up for years at 4:30 in the morning to drive to inner-city ghetto Philadelphia to fix houses, but made sure to finish his day by 2pm so he could pick up my brother and me from school and share his hard-earned money and his time with the family he loves. My uncles work themselves to the bone for their bejeweled wives. One died of a heart attack at 52, the other is currently navigating his way through cancer and three other diseases his weakened immune system can no longer fend off. Men ARE sacrificing. Men ARE working hard and getting no recognition. Meanwhile, my recently widowed 86-year-old grandmother is worth nearly a million dollars having never worked a day in her life. Two husbands she has had. They lavished her with anything she desired. She has no house payment, my father STILL drives her wherever she needs or desires to go, and she hesitates to spend $10 for a dinner for her family.
I, personally, am tired, even just at 23, at having to hide my opinions, and always be nice to women only to see that they despise guys being nice to them. I've already lessened my always-pleasing ways, but I see that I can go even further into being myself, not worrying about trying to please women, but at the same time, in a paradoxical way, giving them exactly what they want. Making her happy and myself happy.
When I look back at past relationships, the "nice"girl was the meanest, the "giving" girl took the most, and the "most devoted" girl who said she could never be with another man besides me, is happily married to another man besides me within a year after us breaking up.
So, thank you for helping me admit to myself that I'm not dreaming. Women are saying bullshit out of both corners of their mouths sometimes. I'm not evil. I'm not responsible for any rapes or witch-hunts. It's too late for me, I've already finished school, but now I can see what influence school has had on my psyche and the way it has manipulated my ideas of success (I still feel the need to please in the "get an A for mommy" way). [After reading your book] I can stop these ideas from continuing to embed themselves in me.
Anyway, the one statement I found very liberating was when you convinced me that men are great sources of creativity. Men are the MOST emotional and creative and let's stop inventing twisted rationales for denying something that is really so plainly true. As a person doing creative work, I was just glad to hear you reaffirm that what I am doing is a strong part of my nature, and that being creative does not mean that I'm not a man and that I try to imitate female nature by being creative.
Anyway, I won't keep going on, because I could rhapsodize and ramble about things in your book and my life and my new ideas for ages. So I'll cut it here and just let you know that a young man thanks you for allowing him to see a view point that he was not allowing himself to see.
Best to you,
"This book will come to be regarded as one of the most significant written at the end of this millennium."
This book is a must. Rich Zubaty has produced a masterpiece, which dissects with razor sharp clarity the condition of modern America. His analysis also applies to much of modern Europe too, as we tend to follow the U.S.A. culturally, especially in Great Britain. This is a book for anyone concerned about where society is going. It will appeal to men's movement activist and lay people alike. I hope many women read this book. It is vital that women realize what has actually happened to us, rather than the manufactured version offered by the media.
Much feminist thinking and writing focuses on how 'men must change'. The implication is that women have already reached some kind of state of nirvana, but it is men, with all their basic instincts and un-reconstructed views who are holding back the progress of society.
Zubaty demonstrates that such thinking is complete nonsense.
Men are what they are, warts and all. Women, however, have major problems. They are the original materialists (from Latin, mater=mother).
Zubaty comments on how current thinking states that men are object-oriented, women are people-oriented.
How then is it, he asks, that you find men playing team sports while women clog the shopping malls buying up more crap?
Women are self-obsessive and, worst of all, while men can find their spirituality outside themselves, in God, in nature, in space, women try to find it inside themselves....and this is a contradiction in terms.
He says, tellingly, 'The goddess she worships is herself'. Zubaty's writing style is multi-layered. He tells stories, then he quotes from other writers, then he analyses social situations with a practiced eye.
He castigates the men who have aided and abetted women to wreck our society, the 'manholes', as he dubs them. Our society has been colonized by female 'memes', as well. A 'meme' being a thought or item of information equivalent of a gene or virus.
When someone tells you a new idea or concept they have passed a 'meme' into your brain.
This is a man who has done his 'ashes' work, and then some.
After facing traumatic breakdown of his own family, he has traveled the world, finding his own spiritual self and thinking about our current society's problems.
His conclusions are a synthesis of two strands of men's movement thinking, the mythopoetic strand and the hard-edged male activist strand.
This book will come to be regarded as one of the most significant written at the end of this millennium.
For Male View
The magazine of the U.K. Men's Movement
Glasgow, Scotland, 1998
Identifying how our society is being feminized is an heroic contribution of this book. It helps explain the explosion of discrimination against men. A book well worth reading for that alone. Add to this one of the best discussions of male spirituality I have encountered and I believe this is a book that will benefit every man, and probably every woman. Hang in there and you will be rewarded by potentially belief-altering insights.
author of The Other Side of the Coin
editor of Men Healing Shame
"Anger wrote this book. Honest anger, long silenced, howls from these pages. Here you will find the kind of anger no American wants to face, ire that discomforts our smug cultural convictions. But here also is anger that births understanding, renews relationship, and leads us back to tolerance and sanity, perhaps even love.
In our feminist age, no one wants to mitigate conditions that necessitate male anger. It's far easier to scapegoat, imprison, obfuscate, and deny. It's blasphemy to suggest diverting resources and attention from women's unending needs. Mental health clinics typically have a cornucopia of programs for women, most of them designed to shift responsibility for bad female behavior from clients onto others. These same clinics usually have one program for men -- anger management. Meet the New Boss, same as the Old Boss.
Rich Zubaty, at the forefront of reform of American masculinity, is rescuing his anger. He has concluded that his anger is no longer someone else's to "manage," neither a corporate property nor a cultural tool, but his own to define and display. Like countless American men of the past generation, his children have been stolen from him and indoctrinated against him -- and he is angry. His opportunities for education, employment, and expression have been curtailed by second-class citizenship -- and he is angry. His beloved nature -- both inner and outer natural worlds -- have been turned into a "market force" -- and he is angry. Like so many others of the Betrayed Generation, he played by the Rules -- someone else's Rules -- and got the hilt buried in his back, the bitter chalk of Judas' kiss nailed to his lips. While this occurred he was assured he must keep apologizing for being male, must shuffle head-down to the rear of the bus, muttering mea culpas. His culture hoped and expected that he'd grovel and submit, or at least run his car off a mountainside. Instead, he got angry. Righteously and productively angry.
Zubaty has more courage than ten thousand linebackers, senators, corporate drones, and macho Terminators combined, who lick the boot heels of a culture which finds ever-creative methods of stepping on their brothers. Zubaty is the real Terminator, and what he has come to slay is the Artificial Man and his consort, the Empowered Witch. Against all propaganda and odds, he tells us that our culture is poisoned by pseudo-men and power-crazed women, both serving themselves only, and with both hands at that. He denounces a culture ruled by group-identity-and-think, by mass propagandist memes, not character or merit. Angrily, he informs us that these forces have conquered our institutions and value systems, to the detriment of the nation, the planet, and the collective human soul. With each passing day, he informs us, authentic masculinity becomes more proscribed by the culture, shamed and codified out of existence, made in fact illegal.
Zubaty's response to this is anger, very overdue and very honest, anger which seeks to wean us away from governmental, corporate, and media spins concerning gender and back to what is presented in front of our faces, every day, much as we wish not to see. He offers us a book few Americans want, but every last one desperately needs.
The betrayal, disappointment, and bedrock love revealed beneath the anger of this book is worth the risk of offended sensibilities. Too long have we genuflected to the professionally oppressed, the perpetually offended, and let our silence be their shield.
Monologue benefits only the hoarders, the power junkies, the frozen of heart. These must descend from their aeries of superiority, privilege, and certainty, and rejoin the human community as equals, not as self-designated culture aristocracy and police. Before we can accept and love one another, we must hear one another, not plug our ears with fingers and scream for the guards. Let women and men remember this as they tell each other their painful and liberating truths.
Rich knows that feminism will only be brought to an end when men acknowledge that women lack the moral strength to lead society or the family.
He correctly identifies female materialism as the most destructive force on the planet. Sure, there are plenty of materialistic men -- most of them are hooked on pussy praise, and their striving for material success is usually driven by one factor alone -- to please or impress women.
(But) The one thing Rich is really adamant about is the need to initiate men.
"If you only read one book this year make it WHAT MEN KNOW THAT WOMEN DON'T. " -- J. Steven Svoboda, Ph.D. Harvard, human rights lawyer and Executive Director of Attorneys for the Rights of the Child
WHAT MEN KNOW THAT WOMEN DON'T. By Rich Zubaty. Preface by Bill Kauth. 547 pp. College Station, Texas and Kaunakakai, Hawaii: Virtualbookworm.com and Zubaty Publishing, 2001. $24 paper. $14 CD or ebook. Available at www.virtualbookworm.com. 877-376- 4955. Or from www.amazon.com
Rich Zubaty has updated and completely rewritten his classic "Surviving the Feminization of America." Controversial even within the ranks of men's rights activists, the original 1993 edition of "Surviving" sparked a lot of admiration for the author's rambling, tell-it-like-it-is style, not to mention the brilliance of his insights. But for many, "Surviving" also set off perhaps equal levels of denigration for its frequent flaming putdowns of females and perhaps for its sheer ball-busting uniqueness. Almost anyone could find something to dislike about "Surviving." Conservatives hated its clearly stated opposition to corporations and the evils they have spawned in society (about which Zubaty says more in his 2001 book, "The Corporate Cult," also available at the same locations given above and to be reviewed by me in the next issue). Liberals hated with equal vigor the book's attacks on the federal government ("useful for building interstate highways and keeping Cuba from invading us, and as far as I can tell that's just about it") and felt discomfort over Zubaty's evidently more than trace levels of misogyny.
I can't think of a men's movement book I have read which has made a stronger impression on me. Here are some of the ideas Zubaty proposes, attempts to justify, and explores in this book. Women are more materialistic than men, he writes, stressing the word's etymology from the Latin "mater," and they are also more analytical than males. Correspondingly, despite common misconceptions, men are more spiritual (and more intuitive) than women, as well as more skilled in relationships, and we need to regenerate a male-flavored spirituality if we are to save this planet before it is really too late. One of the biggest problems today is men and women have swapped mental roles, and neither of us does particularly well at playing the other's role.
Zubaty has a true poet's way with the pithy apothegm. "Women have more emotions, men have deeper feelings." "'Equality' is meaningless. Is a bee equal to a sparrow? The term is meaningless. And anyway, feminism was never honestly about Equality. Feminism was about MORE STUFF FOR WOMEN. Women don't want to mine coal or get drafted into war. That's too much Equality for them." "Men are not the oppressors of women. The simple proof of that is that Women are not oppressed." "Our male models are reconstituted women. They are the men women like, not the men God likes." "Men's intution is to women's intuition as the night sky full of galaxies is to a flashlight. The flashlight looks brighter because it is closer, but that is just an illusion."
Another of the author's knacks is synthesizing data in revealing ways. In the last decade, the number of working men who earn only a poverty wage has increased 100%. Five percent of the people and 75% of the lawyers live and work in the United States. Are we attempting to litigate values? Are we trying to pass laws to enforce morals? Zubaty makes a convincing case that we are doing exactly that. Why, if we get married in a church, don't we get divorced there as well? "Do you think it is any coincidence that the rise of compulsory education has marched in lock step with the Industrial Revolution?" Men's brains are 15% larger than women's, about twice the average body size difference; it may not be coincidence that women are more prone to emotional, manipulative responses which presumably are generated by the more primitive portions of the brain. Zubaty provides a pithy four-page summary of brain differences between men and women. Perhaps most to the point: "It amazes me to hear Americans mock Third World dwellers without for a second understanding that these people have more food laying around in their own backyard than they could eat in a year." Zubaty has both the skill and the guts to build a case that women are the cause of war. I may not be in FULL agreement but I am in full admiration of his chutzpah, not to mention panache.
The feminization of America and indeed, of the world, which became the title of this book's first edition, can be so profound that we can miss it if we don't have a friend like Zubaty to point it out to us. "Our priests wear gowns, our judges wear robes, and our ex-wives wear jeans." This process may be the most powerful of society's many statements that the masculine is losing its importance. Zubaty draws a pointed analogy between the "decay and dissolution" he has observed in Native Americans with whom he has lived and developments in North America and Europe. "What we are seeing on the reservation is a speeded up version of what Western society has done to all men--killed off the visionaries and turned the rest into a bunch of alcoholic businessmen." Ouch.
Zubaty does at times halfheartedly suggest that all "real men" stop going to work so that the women have to learn how to use shovels and drive garbage trucks. Not a bad idea. And, noting that "men who have not been fathers are vastly less complete individuals than women who never became mothers," Zubaty very sensibly proposes that fathers receive automatic custody of half the children from their marriage as a first step towards reducing divorce and curing a whole range of other problems. I can also sign on to Zubaty's "flake tax" for all childless men and women over the age of 30. Generally, though, "What Men Know" is short on explicit, detailed solutions to the overwhelming problems the author deftly sketches, but he can hardly be blamed for this. Frankly, the resolution to these issues may not exist, at least not yet. Zubaty's function is to alert us that the emperor has no clothes so we can start preparing to accelerate his departure and hopefully begin to think about who we will put in his place and how we will ensure that the same things don't continue to go wrong under the new regime.
It's time for some more Zubatyisms. Regarding our feminized education system, the author acerbically notes, "School is the place you go to learn all the things that are exactly the opposite of what you need to know to succeed in life." "If I tell my kids, 'I happened upon a moment of Buddha consciousness standing on a street corner,' my son will say, 'What's Buddha consciousness?' and my daughter will say 'What street corner?'" "Yes, you have an equal right to fix your own toilet. Go do it." Like it or not, "ALL the major accomplishments of civilization spring from the obsessions of men the sociologists now disdain as 'workaholics.'" "Civilized women don't like war, but they DO like washing machines.... Don't tell me women will give up their washing machines to make life easier for their 'sisters' in poor countries. The sun will ice over before that happens."
These words that flow so nicely point toward some disturbing conclusions. Zubaty can be hard to take, because he can help us to realize, not to put too fine a point on it, how hard life today sucks. He assembles a convincing claim that computers are the most feminizing force in society today, and notes, "We don't need more education. We need more spirituality."
Zubaty notes the great lengths to which Nature has gone to produce the male. "[u]ntil around 1840, females lived 10% shorter lives than men... Is there any doubt who is profiting from the Industrial Revolution?... Our men are going the way of the African elephant. It isn't that we are not hardy. The problem is that our habitat is being destroyed.... There is scarcely a real man left alive." This series of powerful metaphors contains the crux of the matter. Not simply our literal habitat is being eliminated, but also our symbolic habitat, in that our past understanding and appreciation of men's evolutionarily invaluable role is being lost. Most admirably, Zubaty it at his best in some pithy pages where he discusses male spirituality and men's role in the universe. "Our job is not to get along with the Goddess. Our job is to fuck the Goddess." And to be "the patron saints of foolishness," capable of providing "poetry and fascination and risk-taking." "Men were designed to disrupt women," thereby creating human life. Zubaty will similarly disrupt you as reader, and will also similarly help give birth to new ideas and some new thought patterns inside you.
"What Men Know" is at least as good as "Surviving." Longtime activist and New Warrior cofounder Bill Kauth has added a suitably seat-of-the-pants preface. Sure, you will always be able to find ten things to strongly dislike about the book. But the real point should be: I can't think of ANY book you are likely to read with as many original ideas. You don't even have to like Zubaty's authorial voice for his books to be must-reads, because they will get you thinking either way, and that's the author's ultimate goal. I suspect he would much prefer to have three people read his book and hate it as to have two people read his book and love it, as long as the readers in either case will think about the ideas presented and pursue actions in their own lives related to their conclusions. Sprint, don't run, to your feminized computer, and download Rich Zubaty's stunning, unique, depressing, hilarious, infuriating, delightful, but above all, must-read book. If you only buy one book this year, make it "What Men Know That Women Don't." Your life, and that of those who love you and those whom you love, not to mention that of your society, may depend on it. -- J. Steven Svoboda